I don't even want to talk about it.

After much discussion and many failed efforts to fix some behavior issues, we decided to take Aidan out of his Italian school and send him to school on post instead. He had been having tantrums almost every day, and it just came down to it not being fair for Aidan to be so miserable and frustrated, or fair to the teacher and the other children for him to take up so much time and attention every day. Although the American school is farther away, cost three times as much, is shorter, and has a less healthy lunch, it just isn't possible to continue in the asilo. So, here we are.
I was so upset I cried. A lot. At the school, in front of the kids, teachers, and other parents. Humiliating. But, I think it's just the first of many times that I will have to face a situation where what I want to happen for my child just WON'T happen, despite my best efforts or my strongest wishes or my best laid plans. He may not make sports teams. He may not get into a school. He may be rejected by some girl who is not even good enough for him in the first place. And it's really humbling to know that even as the mommy, who has to make and enforce so many decisions on a daily basis, I can't always ensure that it works out the most perfect way (as imagined by me) for him.
When I was pregnant, I read something about genetic engineering and wondered if I would choose to make my child "perfect" or allow them to have whatever quirks they would normally have in order to face challenges and build character. I thought at the time that I'd opt for "normal" kids, but after having children, I know that I would totally do anything to save them from any sadness or pain- forget character.
So, I'm trying to focus on the positive, which is how excited he is to start "American school," and the fact that we were fortunate enough to get him a spot in the school- there is often a 6-month waiting list. His extremely social personality was pretty cramped by the language barrier, and I'm sure he'll enjoy talking with the kids in English and them understanding all of his stories and jokes and questions. And, although it sometimes feels like I want to believe this more than I actually do, I'm sure that this will all work out for the best and that it's all with God's blessing. I just wish he'd let me know ahead of time when these big changes were coming, so I could prepare myself...and not cry in public.