Monte Berico

There is a Basilica here, Monte Berico, in Vicenza that has a really awesome view. I drove over there and took some pictures the other day. Peep this:

Tiny Chess Game

In Bulgaria, there's a whole sub-culture of tiny old men that gather in the parks and place chess on normal sized boards with normal sized pieces.

I didn't believe it when I first saw it, but you can't deny this photographic evidence:





Yet another bizarre part of Bulgarian culture.

War-stache

I don't know what it is about being deployed in Iraq, but it makes soldiers want to grow their mustaches out. Plenty of guys do it. When I was deployed in 2003, I sported one for a couple of months. I kept it until it got thick and collected so much Iraqi sand and dust that anything I ate tasted like dirt. To be honest, the food wasn't that delectable to begin with, but you've got to have standards.

So I wasn't too surprised when my brother Justin sent me this picture of his Iraqi war-stache.



Nice, right? For comparison, here's my profile pic with a artificial mustache. Notice the family resemblance? Uncanny, I know. Although I think I do look a little more sophisticated in my picture. Look at that sublime eyebrow raise. Goosebumps!

Did you remember what today is?

Today is September 11th. For those that have forgotten, six years ago the U.S. was attacked by terrorist who hijacked commercial airlines and flew them into the World Trade Center Towers and the Pentagon.



Three thousand Americans lost their lives that day.

More than three thousand, seven hundred American soldiers and civilians have lost their lives during the four years of war since then.

But what is on the front page of MSN today?



"Summer's Biggest Scandal"? Paris and Lindsey are front page news on 9/11? I'm surprised they mentioned 9/11 on the front page at all. At least they gave a small link on the left of the page to acknowledge the fact that it was 9/11.

For today, try to not read the celebrity gossip news and sports box scores. For today, think of how the world has changed in the last six years and how that's affected your life and the lives of your loved ones. Today, remember the fallen Americans that were killed six years ago today and the thousands that have died since.

Never forget.
Never forget.
Never forget.

A funny thing happened last night...

Well, what do you know?

After a night out on the town, I wake up to find myself married to a Bulgarian girl. Who knew it could be so easy? Jessica's not going to be thrilled about this.



And if she's going to be pissed about that, she's going to be furious about this. Due to a huge misunderstanding, which I will admit was partially my fault, I didn't wed one but two Bulgarian girls last night.



Good grief.

At least the priest was nice enough to only charge me for his services once, since he only technically performed one ceremony. Here's a shot of me and him hanging out afterward.



On a serious note, these pictures were taken at my hotel last night. I came back from dinner to find that there were not one, but two different weddings being hosted by my hotel. Must be a popular place. Anyway, by the time that I came back from dinner, the booze had been flowing and everyone was my new best friend. After learning how to say congratulations in Bulgarian, I wished the wedding party the best and asked for pictures with the brides. Ideally, I wanted to get them both in the same shot, but the timing didn't work out. When I saw the priest hanging out, I went for the trifecta. I'm the Bulgarian "Wedding Crasher".

The priest was an interesting guy. After getting the hotel night manager to ask him in Bulgarian (the manager and the priest were acquaintances), he came over and gave me an uncomfortably long handshake while he asked me questions in Bulgarian and I waited for translation. After I got the picture, I asked my Bulgarian friend what that was all about. Apparently, the priest is hesitant to get his picture taken with people because there are semi-religious cults in Bulgaria that would try to get a picture with a priest to give credibility to their sect. So he was feeling me out with the questions to make sure I wasn't one of these cult wackos. Yet another bizarre glimpse into the world of Bulgaria.

Our Little Princess

I don't know about you, but the first thing I think about when I give birth is "What will this precious new baby be dressing up as for Halloween?" This may be because Joel and I have a special place in our hearts for Halloween, and in particular, Halloween parties...and, ahem, fog machines. So, after checking out all of the costumes for fairies, bees, peas, angels, superheros, hot dogs (and other disturbing food items), care bears, and caterpillars (actually, really cute for a crawling baby), we decided on a princess costume...Princess Leia!

Check out this awesome picture of the baby model:

Pretty sweet, huh? We had a little trouble finding it, but thanks to http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/ we were able to get it. Maybe you should check them out for all of your holiday costume needs, as well!! (Does that smack of shameless promotion? They offer to refund the shipping cost to people who blog about the site.) But, I am a fan- they had this costume when the first ten sights I checked were sold out, so yay to them!!

In case you have missed this, here is the hot dog suit- delicious!!!

My Brilliant Idea

I don't know why, but when I'm in Bulgaria I seem to keep coming up with crazy business ideas. There's been a-plenty, but this post is just about one of them in particular.

But first, a little background...

All around Bulgaria, I keep seeing this very poster:



Now, I don't read Bulgarian. I can only go by what I can glean from the picture and what I know about Bulgaria. First, I can see that some thug-ish looking gentleman is prominently featured at the front of this poster. He appears to be surrounded by a throng of acquaintances; a mob of people, if you will. Second, I know that Bulgaria has a large and active underworld criminal element. Third, by the production quality and frequency that I see this poster, I make the assumption that this is for a TV show or movie in Bulgaria. So my first conclusion was that this was some sort of Bulgarian version of the Sopranos.

Turns out, my first conclusion was incorrect. The guy, I learned, is Slavi Trifonov, host of the Slavi Trifonov Show. From his website:

Slavi Trifonov`s Show is a daily sixty minute evening talk show broadcast from Monday to Friday from 22:30h 23:30h on the first private nationwide TV in Bulgaria - bTV. Although it is an external production it turned into the media emblem and basis upon which it started to build its image and prestige.

So, it's kind of like a Bulgarian version of Sabado Gigante. But I think that my original idea would actually be a better sell. A Bulgarian version of the Sopranos, with this guy Slavi as the lead. Set it in a suburb of Sofia, have Slavi go through a mid-life crisis while he's trying to balance the mob and his family, through a little Balkan flavor in there; it's a can't miss premise. Also, doesn't Slavi bear a little more than a passing resemblance to this guy?



Now, who can green light this baby? I'll set myself up as the executive producer, get some hot-shot Bulgarian director, and a crew of hungry university students for writers. It'll make millions.

Buried Alive

I was relaying a story to a Bulgarian about safety coffins. For those of you not in the know, people in Victorian England and Europe would get these coffins that had bells attached to strings that the departed could pull in the event that they "wake up" from an accidental burial. Sounds crazy, but I guess it happened on more than one occasion back then. Check out this passage from deathonline.net:

Fear of premature burial was widespread in 18th and 19th century Europe, leading to the invention of the safety coffin. Over thirty different designs were patented in Germany in the second half of the 19th century. The common element was a mechanism for allowing the 'dead' to communicate with people above ground. Many designs included ropes which, when pulled, would ring the church bell, or a purpose-mounted bell. Others replaced the bell with a raiseable flag, a powerful fire cracker or a pyrotechnic rocket. Some included a shovel, a ladder and a supply of food and water. An essential element, which was overlooked in some designs, was a breathing tube to provide air and occasionally even sustenance.

Weird, right? So after reading this, my first question was, "How did people get mis-diagnosed as dead?" Any suggestions, Wikipedia?

At least one report of accidental burial goes back to the 13th Century. Hundreds of instances of accidental burials were documented in the 1600s during epidemics of plague, cholera, and smallpox. Revivals have been triggered by dropped coffins, grave robbers, embalming, and attempted dissections. Fearing premature burial, George Washington, on his deathbed, made his servants promise not to bury him until three days after his death. Patients in the 1990s have been documented as accidentally being bagged, trapped in a steel box, or sent to the morgue.

Sucks to be the doctor that mistakenly pronounced someone dead when they weren't. That's got to be the ultimate "D'oh!"

I also came across this super creepy painting by Antoine Wiertz called The Premature Burial. What kind of a wacked out painter do you have to be to paint this?



Oh wait, he's Belgian. No further explanation needed.

All figured out

I was counting up all the time that I've spent in Bulgaria, to include all the time that I will be spending here this month. By my count, I've been here 13 days already and I'll be here for 38 days once I leave on 30 September. That's not exactly the summer holiday that I was hoping to take this year, but I'm going to try to make the most of it.

So I've noticed a lot of similarities between the Bulgarians and a certain fictional alien race. I hate to make a Star Trek reference here, but unfortunately the analogy does fit. I'm talking about Klingons. Just take a look at this picture and decide for yourself:



Hmmm, separated at birth? But there's more! I've been hearing a lot of spoken Bulgarian lately and I can't help thinking that it bears more than a passing resemblance to the fictional language of the Klingons. Compare these two songs:

Klingon Song

Bulgarian Song (press the green button on the linked page)

Alright, now that's not just a passing coincidence. By the way, the Bulgarian song is actually being sung by the woman on the right in the picture above. No not that one. No, the one on the right. No, the woman. Ugh, just forget it.

Here's another thing about the Bulgarians that may or may not be like the Klingons, but certainly seems alien: they transpose the meanings of their headnods. That is to say, they nod their head side-to-side when they mean "yes" and up-and-down when they mean "no". It confuses the crap out of me. I've been here for a couple of weeks by now, and I still can't seem to remember this small but vital difference. All the time, I find myself talking to a Bulgarian, discussing some business, and thinking, "Why is this guy disagreeing with me? I thought we were on the same page with this?" Then I realize that he's shaking his head "no", but means "yes". Fricking confusing.

Also, I've been on pretty good terms with all the Bulgarians that I've met. But you couldn't tell by the way that they talk to me. There's something in their national character to talk loudly and agitated at you, even when you're talking about something pleasant. For example, I was at the cell phone store getting a Bulgarian number for my phone. I was already in the store, I had decided to buy this store's chip, I was going to put additional credit on the card. I was a slam dunk customer for these guys. But they were talking at a volume that was just below yelling and almost rushing me through the process, even though I was the only guy in the store for nearly 20 minutes. Where's the fire, fellas? I know there's a line of customers piling up behind me eager to drop some money on your... Oh wait, no there's not. It's just me. Go figure.

Anyway, it's a strange place filled with strange people. A little like Klingons, but not with the ridged foreheads and leather outfits. Well, maybe some leather outfits.

Later.

Oooo-oooo, That Smell!

I checked into my hotel room yesterday here at the luxurious National Hotel in Sliven. Immediately, I notice a powerful and somewhat familiar smell. Holy dog crap! Where have I smelled that before? It's like an old lady funeral home. It's like a flower farted. It's what I imagine Sex Panther smells like. Oh yeah, it was the same smell that was in my hotel room the last time that I was here in the Hotel National. Except it was a different room in the hotel.
When I was here then, I thought that the smell was maybe from the strange dried flowers that were in the room last time. Some sort of bizarre, Bulgarian potpourri. But here I am in a totally different room with the same stench and no dried Bulgarian flowers. So what gives?? A couple minutes of frantic searching reveals the culprit:



Some shitty Plug-In? That's been causing this epic aroma? Jessica and I have had these things in our house before, and they usually aren't worth a damn after about one week. But not this little bastard; he's cranking out the juice. Well, mystery solved. Pretty lame, after all.

**UPDATE**

Just got off the phone, and my luggage is en-route from Sophia to Sliven, with a short detour into Plodiv. It should be here sometime this afternoon. I can finally change my underwear. After three days, it's starting to wear a little thin. Gross.

Rolling into Sliven

I arrived today in the bustling metropolis of Sliven. Where might that be? Why, it's nestled within the heaving bosom of Bulgaria. See for yourself:



As you can see, it's the hub of all things Bulgarian. Things such as green peppers:



Red peppers:



And bear statues.



It's a little much to handle all in one day, but I'm making the most of it. Those photos were actually taken on my last trip to Sliven, around 24 August. Not sure if there's any photography buffs out there, but those were actually taken with my crappy cell phone camera. I know! It's hard to believe from the quality!

Those peppers were from a farmer's market that sets up near the center of town and the bear was on top of a communal water fountain. There were probably 10-15 people at any one time around this water fountain; drinking, splashing their faces and hands, filling up little bottles. And when I say water fountain, I don't mean the metal, rectangular boxes that we see in office buildings. This was an old stone watering point, with little brass spouts that water flowed out of into a basin. The people would come up and either fill a little cup or bottle, or cup their hands to drink.

I did pack my video camera to capture the essence of what is Sliven. Unfortunately, that camera is packed away in my missing luggage that has still not materialized. If everything goes as planned, the luggage will arrive on the 1600 flight from Rome today and the airport's courier service will bring it to me tomorrow morning. We'll see how that goes.

Get your fill of my kids

Here are the kids... not much story, just some cute pictures.

Lake Garda, Part II

I've never been to a lake in the states, so I really have nothing to compare to this one, but it was really unbelievable. The view was ridiculous; just see the pictures. The water was cold, but not freezing, and super clean. I also really liked how the area around the lake was grass, so we could lay Ava down without her getting sandy. My only complaint was that the shore is made of rocks, and it hurt my feet to walk out and once in the water, the rocks were really slippery. Next time I'll have to figure out some kind of water shoe situation.

There were also olive trees all over. It gave the area a really sweet smell and the trees shaded the beach area. Awesome! Joel was checking them out for snacks, but they were really small. I think the olive harvest is in the late fall, like October or November.

Back in Sophia

It's been months since my last post. Thankfully, Jessica has been stepping up and making some posts so everyone doesn't think that this blog has been abandoned. We're still here; unfortunately, I've been away on my business trips to the Balkans for most of the summer. On the plus side, if anyone is interested in doing anything in the Balkans (specifically Romania or Bulgaria), I'll be happy to lend my services as an area expert.

I'm going to try and increase my blog output this month, at least the first two weeks when I'll have some free time without adult supervision. For starters, here's a slideshow of our recent trip to Innsbruck, Austria.

We drove there on Thursday and came back Saturday evening. It was a short trip but we all had a great time and saw some cool stuff there.

It's late here, so I'm signing off. Tomorrow I'll have an update on whether my luggage arrived from Italy or not. As of now, I'm 2 for 3 at having my luggage lost at the Sophia Airport. Moral of the story: If you're flying into Sophia, try to have your stuff in a carry on. That's a little tip from the pros. It's a freebe. Enjoy.

By popular demand...

One of Ava to keep you all off my back about seeing her:

I did it!

Before....
Something made me decide to participate in a 5K walk/run here on post on the 4th. I had never done such a thing before, but Joel was gone and I am always looking for things to do in his absence so I'll have news to tell him. This was really advertised as "stroller friendly;" in fact, my t-shirt says "Running, Walking, Strolling," which is pretty silly. I pictured old-timey people with parasols strolling along the run route, but sadly didn't see any. Maybe next time.

So anyway, I showed up at 7:00 to register with Ava strapped to my chest and Aidan in a stroller. So, I was carrying an extra 12+ pounds and pushing another 50 or so. There were a few other moms with kids, so I wasn't embarrassed thinking about my awful future performance. At 8:30, they shot the gun- the big highlight for Aidan- and I was off... as the last person to start the race. Through the race, Aidan kept me motivated by angrily yelling "GO, mommy! GO!" whenever I slowed to readjust Ava in her carrier or get a drink of water. Just over an hour later, I showed that it was possible to maintain such a pace by being the very last person to finish the race! At least I'm consistent! I seriously blame the crappy stroller I was using... yeah, that's it...

All in all, I was really glad I did it. It wasn't that hard- walking just over 3 miles (or a mere 18,000 steps!) in really nice weather is hardly torture- and I felt proud of myself for doing it. For the next one in September (yes, I'll do it again!!) I'm going to rent the double jogging stroller here on post and try to jog it. Ans as a final plus, my picture was in the paper, with no mention of being the final participant. Hooray!

...and slightly sweatier after:

Guess who won't be drowning this year?

Answer: my kids! I got these life jackets for our upcoming trip back to Lake Garda. Aidan wears one at the pool, and really likes it. He's able to play in the water without having me hold him or dying, which is good news. I also got one for Ava, because I'm completely crazy with my irrational fear of the kids drowning. So, better safe than sorry, right? And how cute do they look?!?

Local Customs

Here is a picture of my laundry hanging to dry on the balcony. Some Americans laughed at me the other day when I said that I actually hang my stuff out to dry, but it's really not that big of a deal. In the summer, I really look for any way to make the house cooler and avoiding running the dryer is way up on the list. Also, we have a limit on the amount of electricity we can use at one time, so by not using the dryer we can instead use the air conditioner (yay!). But, I think the biggest incentive is how cute the kids' little clothes look when they are pinned up to the rack!

Happy Birthday to me

Well, I have to say it has truly been my birthday now that I received my official Army birthday greeting "card" from Col. Davis, a man I have neither met nor ever heard of, but whom I assume is Joel's boss. I am forced to put quotes around the word card, since it is more of a half sheet of off-white stationary than anything with a picture of a cake or presents on it. To Col. Davis, I respectfully accept your greetings, sir!

Anyway, it was my 29th birthday last week, ho hum. After 21, it's kind of been lame. Even before 21, it was lame, because every year my family would go on vacation the week of my birthday. I guess it was fun to decide where in Ocean City we would eat for my birthday- Tommy's Subs, Dayton's Chicken, or even The Dough Roller, but having a party with your friends is good, too. I'm just saying, there are 51 other weeks in the year to go on vacation, people!

I am starting to think there is a curse on our family where birthdays are concerned. First, Joel misses all of his thanks to the Army, and Aidan's have been weird because we're always moving in the fall. Although I'm sure he enjoys having a party with each set of grandparents, it would be nice to have a kid party with games and stuff. Maybe this year.

Sorry, not my job

"Brizmo"'s comment on the last post about the house being his domain of resonsibility had me thinking of how different things around our house are divided up- like, even if there is a mountain of trash on our porch, I will NOT take it to the recycling center, because that is Joel's job (unless he's out of town, of course). Likewise, I don't think he has bought anyone a present or a card since we got together, because that's my job. He has occasionally come up with an idea, but it's still up to me to shop for it, wrap it, and mail it.

So, here are some of the areas of responsibility for each of us. Although this list doesn't cover every single thing that comes up, these are things that each of us is completely responsible for. There are lots of other things that we both do, like giving Aidan his bath or cleaning up the dishes after dinner.

Joel: computers, cars, trash, fancy cooking, finances, taxes, mopping, driving if we're both in the car, washing the dog, using the video camera, cooking meat, downloading tv shows on the computer, using the drill to hang things on our brick walls.

Jessica: presents, daily cooking, shopping (food and clothing, including Joel's), running errands, laundry, cleaning (except mopping), brushing Aidan's teeth, taking care of Ava (by neccessity), writing thank you notes, making vacation plans, walking Aidan to school, organizing, unpacking when we move (which is a lot!), decorating the house.

I'm wondering if this is a pretty standard male/female split of the duties, or if other people have radically different "jobs" around the house? Leave a comment!

Harry Potter and the Computer on Fire

Well, the good news is that it looks like I have again narrowly escaped divorce. Joel took the news very well. The bad news, though, is that I set the computer on fire. How, you may ask? Well, long story short, I switched the power setting from 115 volts to 220 and burned up the power supply. It made a hissing noise, and then smoke and sparks starting coming out of it. I kind of freaked out, but at least I didn't "pour a bunch of water on it," which is what Joel guessed I might have done. No, I unplugged everything and took it out on the balcony, at which time it seemed to calm down and not escalate into a house fire. Phew!

So, I still have the laptop, until I spill a coke into the keyboard or it gets too wet from the steam when I listen to radio shows online while I take a shower (just kidding, I don't do that... anymore). Joel will be back in a few weeks, and hopefully he can salvage parts of the old one and cobble together a new frankenstein computer, like he does every six months anyway.

On a side note, I took Aidan to see the new Harry Potter on post, and I had to take Ava, too. Some guy sitting behind us in the theatre mentioned LOUDLY a few times something about "finding a babysitter," and I took a huge leap in assuming that he might be talking about me. Excuse me, but isn't Harry Potter for children?!? He's the one that should have stayed at home if he can't stand the sight of babies. It costs $4 for adults/free for kids to see a movie- Dear jerk, I'm sorry if I ruined your movie experience; here's a five, keep the change, baby hater.

I'm getting divorced! Probably!

Well... I had an accident. A really, bad, expensive accident, caused by my own stupidity in not knowing how something around the house, that I use all the time, works. I won't say what happened just yet, since the next of kin (Joel) has not yet been informed.

But, this had me thinking about Lucy Ricardo. I think she is kind of ridiculed as a caricature of the 50's housewife and how subservient they were to their husbands. Yet, when I made this huge mess, my first thought wasn't a feminist "What mad-cap scheme can I come up with to fix this myself? but a sad, pathetic "Oh my god, Joel is going to kill me!"and then I cried for a while. Oh Lucy, help me!

On a funny note, I asked Aidan if he thought Joel would be mad and he said, "Well, daddy will be 'prised about that!" Sweetie.

Come on, it's what we're all thinking!

Thanks, Onion! http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/jul-23-2007

Lake Garda

Mid-June, we took a trip to Lake Garda, the closest of the three big lakes here in northern Italy. It was really fun- we saw a castle, ate fresh fruit, had ice cream, saw the ruins of a first-century villa... just your normal, every day resort kind of things. Here are some pictures. We are headed back, but to a different part of the lake, in August. Enjoy!

View of the lake from the area of the ruins:

The castle at Sirmione:

The ruins, surrounded by olive trees:Lemons are grown all over in this area:

Sorry, we're all out of red face paint.

I think this picture speaks for itself:

Sibling Rivalry

My friend Lora has two children, almost the same ages as Aidan and Ava, but she has a toddler girl and a baby boy. She sent me an email recently, saying she thought her daughter was trying to kill the baby and make it look like an accident- "she's the sweetest little assassin you'll ever meet," she wrote.

Aidan has his moments, too- his MO is usually to try to suffocate Ava through hugs, but he has also been known to drop toys on her head and bring her "presents" that pose clear choking hazzards. Here he is, on good behavior, lulling Ava into a false sense of security. So tricky...