White Haitians

I went out to run some errands this morning as I prepare to get everything ready for the upcoming move. Prepping the cars for sale, getting paint for the apartment, etc. At one store, I was waiting in line to pay for my stuff when the guy behind me asks me if he could set his Cokes and booze on the counter. The guy ahead of us was taking a while, and my new line buddy was carrying a case of Coke and a handle of rum. I gladly slide down to make room for him and his stuff.

He's an middle-aged black guy who I would describe as a "loud talker", but friendly enough. He's there with two teenage kids that I assumed were his kids. He sees that I'm renting another movie, and starts what I can only describe as one of the strangest conversations I've had in recent memory. Here's the gist of it as best I can remember:

Him: You know what you should see is that Benjamin Buttons.

Me: Oh yeah, I've seen it. Pretty good, right?

Him: Yeah man! I love that Benjamin Buttons! He's all "oohh oohh" [pantomimes an old man walking], and then singing up in there! 23 Psalms! This one here [gestures toward one of his sons] was watching that up in Church and laughing his ass off! Ah ha!

Me: [Startled by that reaction to Benjamin Buttons] Oh. Yeah, that was funny!

Him: [Shifting the conversation without any noticeable transition] Man, I know guys who been in the army four years and can't pass a dang-gone PT test. I can't believe that. This one guy... Hey, [directed at me] you ever heard of a white Haitian?

Me: A white Haitian?

Him: Yeah. A white Haitian.

Me: You mean someone from Haiti who is white?

Him: Yeah!

Me: No, I can't say I ever have.

Him: Yeah, me neither! This one guy tells me he's a white Haitian, and I tell him that he's crazy. I looked that shit up on Google [pantomimes typing on a keyboard, but with his arms fully outstretched and even with his shoulders], and you know what Google said?

Teenage kid: What?

Him: Said "Could not find". And if Google can't find it, than it's not a thing!

[Teenage kids and dad both break down laughing at this]

Me: Alright, see you later.

At this point, I had been checked out and left the store. But when I got home, I couldn't resist performing the same search for white Haitian that my new friend had suggested. There's about 1,700 hits for it. From what I can tell, there's a certain population in Haiti of Arab decent that calls itself "white Haitian". What's more, they do not like waiting for the bus. So why couldn't my friend find it on the Google? Dunno. Maybe he was spelling it wrong, maybe he did it a long time ago and there weren't any hits then. But I think I can safely say I'd never thought about white Haitians until today.

Family Feud

Hello friends.

I'm going to let you in a little Springer family secret: my brother and I have a feud. While some families feud over who is getting the family estate, my brother and I are at odds over who is getting a small wooden bear that my parents have at their house.

While my parents were living in Japan in the 70's, they bought a small carved wooden bear that they kept with them as they moved around and eventually settled in Georgia. This type of bear is typical of a style of Japanese folk art carving done by the aboriginal peoples called the Ainu. They are found of carving bears in a variety of different settings, often with a fish. Like so:



This is almost exactly the same composition of the carving that my parents have. For whatever reason, my brother Justin and I got into an argument when we were in school over who would eventually get this bear carving from my parents. Neither one of us was willing to concede over this bear issue and it will probably have to be resolved over a lengthy and costly legal battle. At least that was the most likely course of action until the events of this weekend.

We went to Stuttgart over the weekend to visit friends of ours who had recently moved there. On the morning that we were leaving, Jessica insisted that we go see the flea market that was set up downtown in one of the squares. I reluctantly went along, being a good sport even though I never take any pleasure in these things. To me, everything there can be sorted into two categories: old shit that nobody wants, cool shit that's too expensive. But as we were walking past the the tables of junk, Jessica spotted something that caught her eye. It was a wooden bear. The guy at the table saw that we were interested and held it up for us to see. He said that it was a Russian carving, solid wood, very difficult to make. I didn't know if he really thought that, or if he was just bullshitting us to make a sale. But I knew immediately what it was. It was an Ainu bear carving. He wanted €30 for it, but I got it for €22. Here's a picture of it, with a dollar for reference:



It was a little dusty, but no worse for wear. With a little wipe down, it'll look as good as new. Plus, compared with what comparable carving are online, I think I got it for a bargain.

Maybe the feud will finally come to an end. Unless of course the one at my parents' house looks cooler that this one.

Collaboration

Photoshopping was mine; the caption is Jessica's.



This was from last year's Paris trip when we visited Versailles.

Still Not Hipsters

There was a little excitement from a previous post that I put up when a celebrity podcaster made a comment on the entry.

I was going to respond to his comment with a pithy repartee, but with the move coming up and my work not cutting me any slack recently, I decided to take the only logical step: photoshop clown heads onto the picture.



The gauntlet has been dropped, sir!

Baby Went to Amsterdam

I have to start off saying that 50% of the reason we went to Amsterdam was so we could make a video of the kids there and put it to that song, but the other 50% was "wooden shoes." I have actually seen many people in Europe wear wooden shoes as part of their traditional costumes, including the French and Germans, but we all know they are quintessentially Dutch. So, I made sure everyone in the family got shoes while we were there. Well, at least everyone who was willing (not spoilsport Joel!).

The kids were so crazy about them! Even Ava, who has been a non-smiler lately, cheesed it up for her clog pictures:
Aidan wore his for a little bit before deciding he'd rather get naked and clop around the house with just his shoes on:


My kids are nuts.

Not Hipsters

Jessica and I have started listening to a podcast called "Jordan Jesse Go" (or alternatively "Jordan/Jesse--GO!!"). It's produced by a couple of guys, Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorn, and I believe they have a radio show called "The Sound of Young America" that may have some sort of national syndication.

"Jordan Jesse Go" is a free podcast that they put up on iTunes for subscription. Jessica found it on a fluke and we've been listening to it over the weekend. It's not bad and has it's moments. It's basically two guys riffing on miscellaneous pop-culture topics. By their own admission, their show is a "collection of distractions." They come off as a pair of late-20 hipsters who occasionally have some indie celebrity guest host.

However, I took a peek on the internets at what these "celebrity podcasters" look like and discovered this:



That's Jordan on the left, Jesse on the right.

I sent this picture to Jessica and her response deserved to be shared with the world:

H-S! Which one is which? They look so ridiculous. They pass themselves off as hipsters, but they are clearly bozos.

Bozos indeed, Jessica. Bozos indeed.

Do you like fishsticks?

If you haven't seen the latest episode of Southpark, I recommend you get on over to Southpark Studios and watch the Fishsticks episode.

It's not the best one I've ever seen, but it does contain one of the greatest single one-line jokes of all time. And it has a fantastic Kanye West video at the end.

'Nuff said.

Shout Outs

Happy Easter!

Also, a quick couple of shout outs to some fellow bloggers.

My friend Eric Y. has a annually updated blog that has a web comic on it. I don't know if it qualifies as a web comic per se, since he originally drew them back in the early nineties before the internet is what it is today. Nevertheless, he's since dug up these old strips and put them up on a blog of his. Take a look-- That Old Goat. My hope is that the surge of traffic from this megalith of a site will spur him onward to actually create some new content for the strip. For the record, I'd like to see one featuring the ghost of Natasha Richardson. You know, something light and topical.

Another friend of mine, Cory aka Bart B., has a couple of blogs out there. I'd like to draw your attention to his latest(?) one: Under the Muck. Cory's pretty good about keeping the updates fresh and content-packed. He writes about the bands that didn't quite make it in the biz. Acts that maybe had a hit here or there, but just didn't break on through to the national scene. Cory used to (still does, maybe) write for Pitchfork Media, which is a hipster music review vehicle, so he knows what he's talking about. Lots of the music over there isn't really my scene (which happens to be atonal acapella groups), but Cory makes it interesting and fun to read.

Check 'em out!