Instant Karate Expert

Tired of spending your hard earned dollars on weeks of karate training, only to get mediocre results? Tired of wasting all your free time in the dojo practicing for hours and hours without anything to show for it?

Don't worry, because here's the miracle break-through in martial arts training that you've been waiting for! With the purchase of a simple red karate outfit, anyone can become a karate expert. Watch this completely unskilled child become a Karate Master in the blink of an eye when he dons the outfit:





Truly amazing. Act quickly. These outfits won't last long!

Still in USA

Due to an unexpected roadblock, I'm still in the U.S. Turns out, Jessica and Aidan need a visa in order to live in Italy. I should have known. They needed one for Korea, so they should have needed one for Italy. The big problem is that they need to have the "official" U.S. passport (the brown one) not the standard blue "tourist" passport, which they have.

As it happens, the turn around time for these official passports is 4-6 weeks. So we submitted that paperwork recently and they will have to wait here in the states while I travel forward to Italy. I'm going to miss them both, but it'll give me the opportunity to have everything straightened out so they can have a smooth arrival when they come. I really feel bad for Jessica, because she's going to have to travel to Italy by herself with Aidan. He's can really be a handful at times, especially when you are by yourself.

So I'm departing Monday for Italy. I'll arrive in Venice on Tuesday, 1200 local. Ah, Venice. I'm going to have my camera with me, so I'll put up some pictures when I arrive. Keep posted!

Back in HotLanta

After an overbooked flight and two delays, we finally arrived in Atlanta from D.C. six hours after we had planned. Could be worse, I suppose. At least we arrived here today.

We're in Atlanta from now until Thursday, then we're off to Italy. While I'm in town, I'm available for viewings from 2:00 until 6:00. Exceptions may be made on a case-by-case basis. Brizmo and CDB, send me an email with your latest contact info. I'll see if I can shoot you one to initiate contact. Hit me at joel.springer AT hotmail.com. No nude photos, please.

Man Without a Country

It's been ten days since our last post. Some of you might think that since we're no longer Seoul residents, "Fillet of Seoul" might cease to be. You're partly right. We are planning on shutting down this blog and opening another to highlight our European adventure in Italy, but not yet. We're still in between houses right now; staying with Jessica's family in Maryland, then my parents in Georgia for another week before heading "over there".

We've been busy here, seeing the sights and local haunts. I've got some pictures from the Smithsonian and National Zoo, but I can't upload them yet because I don't have the camera cable necessary to dump them. I think my Dad has one in Georgia, so hold on to your butts.

We've been living out of a suitcase now since 28 September, when the movers packed up the last of our household goods and shipped them out. Today is Oct 18. You'd think we'd be used to being transient already, but it still hasn't happened. My biggest complaint is how the dumb suitcases take up so much space on the floor of the room where we're staying. If only I had some sort of wizard powers that allowed me to levitate the suitcases up off the floor and hover over each other. Then they wouldn't take up so much space and we wouldn't feel so trapped in the room all the time! I imagine that it would work something like this:

Now that's just a rough conceptual sketch; the actual magic bolts will look much cooler in real life. Anyone have an old wizard hat lying around?

Aidan's Birthday Marathon

Because we're traveling this year between Korea/US/Italy around Aidan's birthday, he's getting multiple parties at each location. Tonight was his Korean birthday/going-away party. Our friends Kat and Tyler hosted a little get together for his with cake, candles, and presents. Here's the guest of honor during the money shot.

SUMO!!!

Please read the above title with all three exclamation marks.

As rumored/promised in an earlier post, here's a video of some of the Sumo that we saw while in Japan in September. It's taken a while to put it up here because we've been homeless and computerless for a while, but thanks to Kat and Tyler and their computer, I managed to stitch this together a couple of days ago. It's only about a minute, and with no music or snappy editing, but I think it captures the essence of what was going on. Enjoy!

Leaving Country

Well, the time has finally come to bid farewell to Seoul and Korea. Jessica and I leave Korea next Tuesday U.S. bound. The year has flown by, which became immediately apparent when we checked into the same hotel that we checked into when we first arrived in country. We've got a nicer room this time, but other than that it's the same old hotel. To tell the truth, we don't really like staying here. I can't put my finger on it, but the hotel gives us a weird vibe. Not exactly like a "Shining" vibe, but in that vein. The hallways are strangely quiet and there's some unusual ambient noise that seems to be in every room, but you never seem to get any closer to it.

Oh, and there's a couple of creepy twin English girls that randomly appear in the corridors.

Tsukiji Fish Market

From our recent exploits in Tokyo.

Here's a slice of life from the largest fish market in the world.

The Office: Humor AND Wit

OK, I am totally gay for the Office and went to the NBC website to see when the new episodes start this year (since we have no commercials overseas). Make fun all you want, but at least I'm not this guy, who posted to the message board:

I am absolutely crazy about The Office!! it is HYSTERICAL!!! even though it is mostly humor, it still does have some wit. but 4 a comedy show, humor is better than wit, though there should always be some.
TheOfficeLover
August 30 - 10:07pm PT

Anyway- watch The Office! Thursday, September 21! Yay!

Banzai!

Back from Japan, and what a place!! We spent four days there and it was too short. Plus, the weather was poor (read:rain) for the days that we were there, but miraculously cleared up on the last day that we were there. Jessica was feeling under the weather for some of the trip, so that plus the rain plus a two year old cut a little into what we were able to due during our time there; however, we were able to hit some pretty cool stuff while we were there. For example:

• Saw the Imperial Palace
• Caught a Kabuki show
• Went to a sumo match
• Visited the world's largest fish market
  

Here's a quick picture tour from the "Land of the Rising Sun".

Our first stop was the Imperial Palace. Much like the White House, you couldn't really waltz up into the palace. They had a huge moat (50 feet wide at least) all around the castle. I thought it was a great way to keep the "undesirables" out. Maybe something to consider, George W.?


Next was the sumo match. Tickets were a little high, but we were there for hours and had pretty good seats. I'll throw a sumo video up to give you a taste of the action In the meantime, here some looks from the stadium. These flags are displayed out in front of the stadium and I think are the wrestler's banners. Colorful!

Here's a couple of the dudes squaring off for a match. When they touch their second hand to the ground, then the wrestlers start fighting. It was pretty intensive stuff.


On the last day, I went solo to the Tsukiji Fish Market, one of the largest in the world. I was there early at 6:00 AM to see the action. It was amazing. The place takes up probably three city blocks or more and is crammed with every thing that comes out of the sea that you can eat. The biggest thing there was the tuna, and it was huge. Most people think of tuna coming in a little can, but these monsters was huge. Have a look:


Those tuna are resting on one of those huge shipping palette. Each of them was probably 150-200 lbs each. And there were hundreds of them all around the market. While I was down there, I found a small sushi bar that had the best, freshest sushi I've ever had. Indescribably good.

If you get a chance, check out Japan. A little pricey, yes. But totally worth it the visit.

Toyko = Awesome

Also, Tokyo > Seoul.

More to follow.

Ice Age 2: Electric Bugaloo

So, we're here in Tokyo, and I am stuck in the hotel doing some school work for a couple of hours, and I'm watching The History Channel. A show comes on called "MegaDisasters: Mega Freeze," and I am immediately cynical; Aren't we supposed to be preparing for global warming? I better check it out- after all, it is "Violent Earth Week."
In the first ten minutes, I am BLOWN AWAY by what a hyperbolic "The Day After Tomorrow" piece of promotion work this show is. Apparently, it's going to get about 15-20 degrees colder "in the blink of an eye," changing our climate "like a light switch," resulting in a Northeastern U.S. and Western Europe that will be "a relic of what it once was." They use the uber-technical term "rapid climate change" to describe this, and list a "chain reaction of calamities" including Black Death, the American and French revolutions, canibalism, volcanic erruptions, the economic collapse of European countries (not named specifically, sorry), and more, all due to the weather dropping "a few degrees." Holy S!
Thankfully, we might only experience a temperature drop of only a few degrees- but with greater disasters! The graphic they show looks like the Sherwin-Williams logo, but with a can of "Decorator White" spilling over the top of the globe. Don't think you are safe in the south- you'll get floods, famine, hurricanes, and more. Get that boating license now, because this will all happen in "our lifetime," of course.
On a serious note, ahem... I am so frustrated by the climate change discussion. Which is it, we have brought ourselves to the brink of climate disaster, or we can change it by making minor lifestyle changes like driving hybrids? I just don't see how both are possible. Either we made a huge mess and need to make major changes accross the world to correct it, or it's not that big of a deal and we can affect the changes we do make with minor, simple changes like recycling and deciding what we want from the fride door before opening the door (an actual item from an Earth Day brouchure from our power company last year).
So, let's just clear up the confusion here, OK? I'm sure this blog attracts physicists, climate change experts, geologists, right? I'll take a Marine Biologist, if that's all we've got...anyone??

Enter the Dragon

Without looking ahead, can anyone guess what this is a picture of?

Aidan and I were cruising around Seoul killing some time on a Saturday. We pass a major intersection that usually has a fountain next to it. The fountain hasn't been running lately, or at least I haven't see it because I've been out of town for a couple of weeks. In its place, however, is a giant wicker dragon! And by giant, I mean on the order of four or five stories. The picture above is a close up of the undulating body. Here's a better side shot of the whole thing. Check out the kids sitting up on top.

That's not exactly to scale, as the dragon didn't dwarf the 30+ story buildings in the background. But it was huge. More importantly, it wasn't there three weeks ago. It's a temporary structure that was erected for some reason and will be taken down in the near future, I'd imagine.

Driving down the street and happening upon this giant dragon made of bamboo and steel skeleton, I couldn't help but being overcome by delight. As hackney as that sounds, it's true. How wonderful is it to be surprised by the extraordinary when you're not expecting it? After seeing this beast up close, I took some liberties to spruce it up a bit with Photoshop to make it a little more fantastic. Don't know about you, but I always thought dragons should be green.

Cricket Update

I'm back from my exercise in Korea. Good news: we won. We always do.

Some of you might remember the Crickets!! post from a few days back when I was talking about the cricket in my bathroom. If not, it's a few posts behind this one; take a look to refresh your memory. The cricket in that particular post had a distinct pattern to his song that I talked about there. This afternoon, I was parking the car in the parking garage and I heard another cricket with a different sound altogether.

Instead of the "chirp-chirp pause chirp-chirp" pattern that the other cricket had, this one played a continuous, droning chirp. Like a broken record. What's the deal with this cricket? Is he a more contented cricket? Or was the first one happier and this one the scared one? Or are the completely different species of crickets altogether, each with a distinct song? If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that the first cricket (aka toilet cricket) sounded under duress while the second cricket (aka garage cricket) seemed more at ease. But who's to say?

By the way, at Jessica's request this will be the last cricket post.

Athiests who are afraid of death- I have bad news for you

I know I've been making a lot of posts lately- can you tell I have important schoolwork I'm putting off?- but here is one more hilarious thing I found on another person's website, "Depression, Anxiety, and Worry - What Can an Atheist (Or Anyone Else) Do About Them?"
It basically lists anxious or depressive thoughts people might have, and compares the way a religious person and an athiest would handle those thoughts. I was scanning down the list when I saw this one:

4. Overcoming the fear of death
The religious solution
The Christian religion promises its followers eternal life. Death is merely a transition from living this life to living the next life. Our death in this world is the opening to a much more wonderful world in the afterlife.
The atheist solution
(under development)

Under development!! Haven't quite figured that one out yet, huh, Harvard scholar? It does seem to put a big black mark on your case for atheism, but I will certainly give you credit for unapologetically laying your shortcomings out there for all to see.

He also suggests an unusual remedy for feelings of anxiety:
"Next get a hammer and touch the cold metal to your bones: cheek bones in turn, forehead, nose, shoulders, hip bones, elbows, knees, ankle bones, and soles of the feet."

Hope you're not feeling anxious AND full of guilt or depressed with that hammer in your hands.

However, you just CAN NOT MISS this ridiculous, self-important tyrade he has posted against his daughter-in-law. The sheer amount of time and effort he put into writing this, without ever realizing how insane he is and how he should just let this go, is proof-positive why you should NOT believe anything on his other site. One of my favorite parts is when he thinks an article about a school shooting, in which bullying is named as a contributing factor in the episode, is relevant to his relationship with his daughter-in-law, by whom he feels bullied. Boo-hoo!!! She had better make up with you before you start wearing that black trenchcoat around school (by the way, he and his wife are teachers).

Maybe you want to checkout his other sites:
You Should Have Told Me - Home Hygiene and Home Routines
Health Tips: How to Prevent Hemorrhoids, Bladder Infections, and Heartburn
The Sherlock Holmes Diet - Losing Weight Naturally by Knowing How to Eat

Oh, if only there was some way to contact him...oh, yeah, there is: interlac@erols.com

For parents who can't afford those steep pageant fees

Clicking a link led me to a page that led me to this page: www.babyvsbaby.com
It's like "Am I hot or not: Baby Edition." I went through a few of the "battles," as they call them, and felt gross judging one baby over another, none of which were really that cute (let's just say there are no baby Gap modeling contracts in these kids' futures). If, on the other hand, you enjoy harshly judging children that aren't even old enough to consent to being put on public display, you will probably also enjoy clicking on the "Losingest Babies" section. Enough said.
On that note, let's take a look at Jbaby, the most losingest baby, located on the right.

Manifestation of the Buddha of Compassion, my ass

I went to the library to get a book on CD to put onto my iPod, because who reads these days, and I picked up one called "How to Expand Love: Widening the Circle of Loving Relationships" by the Dalai Lama. Knowing nothing about Buddhism, yet living in a Buddhist country, I thought I would make myself more culturally aware and expand my philosophical horizons. Plus, the English-language radio station here stinks.

However, this book (or the electronic recording of it, anyway) is just cwazy. I guess everyone's religion looks insane from the outside- virgin birth, anyone?- but assertions like my thoughts today can affect other people's past and future lives "in all worlds" were too much for me. I am just too much of a pragmatist to believe my thoughts are able to engage in time-travel. I am also opposed to meditating that "all sentient beings" be born into future lives with "good physiques." What, do bugs need to put that in their personal ads?

Maybe I am being too hard on him. It seems like he is going through a rough time- look at this must-be-true info I got off Wikipedia:
The current Dalai Lama has repeatedly stated that he will never be reborn inside ... of China, [and] occasionally suggested that he might choose to be the last Dalai Lama by not being reborn at all. However, he has also stated that the purpose of his repeated incarnations is to continue unfinished work and, as such, if the situation in Tibet remains unchanged, it is very likely that he will be reborn to finish his work. ... It is also worth mentioning that the 14th Dalai Lama has stated "Personally, I feel the institution of the Dalai Lama has served its purpose."

China, you've made the Dalai Lama, possibly the most peaceful man on earth, so pissed he's threatening to refuse to be reborn! Of course, he MUST be, so ...I guess he will... but not under YOU and your oppressive government! Take that!

In researching this blog post (yeah, can you believe I do that?) I did read a lot of sensible, thought-provoking quotes he has made about peace and self-control, so maybe I just got his "Spaghetti Incident" instead of his "Appetite for Destruction." Use your own judgment.

Crickets!!!

I'm in a crappy "computer lab" here in Korea. I'm being rushed out because there's people waiting and "everyone gets a turn". Take a long walk of a short pier, I say.

Anyway, this has been bugging me for the last two days and I didn't get a chance to write about it for a while. There's a cricket in my bathroom. He's been there for two days now. Chirping. Today I thought he was dead or moved on because he was quiet this morning; but this evening he's back at it again.

Originally, he annoyed me. I just wanted to brush my teeth and use the crapper in piece. Instead I'm assaulted by this chirp-chirping. I toyed around with trying to hunt him down and shmoosh him, but I was rushed in the AM and he got a reprieve. Then yesterday I was taking a shower and I stopped to listen to his chirp.

Chirp-chirp.

Chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp.

Chirp-chirp-chirp.

There seemed to be a rhythm or pattern emerging. I didn't hang out long enough to empirically capture the pattern of the chirps, but there seemed to be a couple of consistancies. First, the chirps came in bursts, followed by a pause. Second, they came in groups as short as two, but no longer than six. Third, the three chirp burst seemed to be the most frequent.

This had me thinking: is this really some short of cricket language? Is it preposterous to place a label like "language" on what could very well be a series of random cricket sounds that have no underlying meaning? Maybe I'm not qualified enough to make that assessment. But it does beg the question that if this is a cricket language, then what is the cricket trying to say?

Is he scared? Unfamiliar with his surroundings and in a strange world, is he pleading to other crickets out to help lead him back to a more hospitable place? Maybe he's trying to call other crickets to him. Maybe finding my bathroom is the best thing that can happen to a cricket. It's damp, there's plenty of food lying about in the trash, there's no birds flying about trying to snatch you up in their beaks. Could be worse, I suppose.

However, the pragmatist in me thinks that the chirps probably don't amount to anything sophisticated enough to call a language. They may have meaning, but not in the same way that we understand language. I guess that sucks some of the fun out of the idea of the cricket language, but I think it's still a novel idea.

So there.

Name Game

Things are finally coming to a close here on my little trip away from home. We should wrap up on Friday, but I won't be coming home until Saturday. Stinks.

On a lighter note, I've got a small collection of funny Army names that I've noted while I'm down here that I wanted bring to your attention. In the military, you run across many names that, when paired up with the appropriate rank, suddenly become a big ha-ha. These are actual people that work around me in the Army, for those that are curious about whether I'm just spouting off names.

The first one is Major Risk. She's a medical planner and verges on paranoid. The name doesn't necessarily describe her to a T. It'd be better if she was some sort of reckless pilot-type.

Next is my personal favorite: Colonel Sanders. This one probably needs no explanation, but whenever I see him I can't help but think of the line from Spaceballs. "What's the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken?"

The last one is maybe a little inappropriate for our younger readers. It's Major Wood. As in, "Watch out, that team has Major Wood." Har-de-har-har.

Well, that's all I got. I'll keep me eye out for more. Until then.

Jessica's Funny Comment

Jessica is sad that she doesn't get the responses to her blog posts that I sometimes do. She was telling me this the other night on the phone. She made a pretty funny comparison about her posts and my posts. She says:

"I write interesting stories and put up pictures about Korea and our adventures here, and I get no response. I pour out my heart and get nothing back. You write a post saying 'Hey, I had an awesome poot today!' and someone responds with 'Dude, remember that awesome poot you did that one time!?!' "

There's only response I can have to that: Hey, I had an awesome poot today!