The International Language of the Finger

I got the finger from an old Korean lady today. This is really shocking, for many reasons. First, I can't remember ever getting it "for serious" in the states, Home of the Finger. But here I am, 10,000 miles away, getting it from some dried up old hag who can't drive. Oh, yeah- I guess that's a BIG surprise- it was a driving-related incident. I won't go into the details, other than to say she pulled in front of me in an intersection, creating a gridlock situation for all four directions. I thre my hands up in an irritated gesture (but not the finger), which was so offensive to her that she stayed put even as other traffic moved, just to be in my way, and when I honked at her, she gave me the bird.
The second issue is that a Korean gave me the bird over a driving issue. I won't bore you with the standard "Koreans drive like maniacs!" line, but this is a place where motorcycles drive on the sidewalks and old people pull carts like horses in the street, right in the middle of the lane like they are a car. Here is a picture of a guy with a cart I stole from another website that looks to be a photojournal of Korea. Just picture this guy in a lane on a highway:

Also, how does she even know about the finger? I did't think it was a universal signal, but I guess it's just one more American culture export we are so kind to share with the world. Go USA!!

Know when to walk away/Know when to run

Day Four of the exercise has come and gone, and the sun now sets on the Korean peninsula. Wonderful. Another day closer to ending this Exercise in Futility. Get it?!? I'm in an exercise, and it's and exercise in futility! Huh? Nothing?

Anyway, the majority of my time down here has been spent working out and playing cards. Your tax dollars at work! The guys that have been working down here have been the IT guys. They've been scrambling to fix everyone's internet, phone, VTC etc. And it's been a challenge. Two solid days of working on getting everyone straight, and it's still not quite right. But pretty standard for the Army. If they get it at a 70% fix, we'll work around that.

Before I sign off, I'd like to share a little nugget of fun with you. I'm currently on a shared computer in a Cyber Cafe on the installation. When I logged on to check my hotmail, the name of the previous user was still in the log in screen. It was lonewolfhunter@hotmail.com . Lonewolfhunter?? Are you kidding me? Who could take themselves seriously and enter that as email? I guess lonehunter and wolfhunter were both taken. Why not drop 'ol lonewolfhunter a message when you get a chance? I'm sure he'd love to hear from you. 'Snarf!

It stinks, and I don't like it.

Another exciting entry today. It's been over a week since the last post, but I don't want everyone to think that we've forgotten about you. Today I'm posting from an undisclosed location on the Korean peninsula where I'm currently involved in a training exercise that rivals all others in the amount of downtime that I have.

Yes, I'm talking about RSOI. For those uninitiated into the ways that the Army works on the Korean peninsula, I'll give you a quick rundown. If the North Koreans choose to attack S. Korea and the "balloon goes up", the U.S. Army will quickly mobilize a bunch of forces onto the peninsula in support of the operation. Part of my job will be overseeing their Reception, Staging, Onward Movement, and Integration. Hence, RSOI. Basically getting them off the plane/ship and into the fight in the least dicked up way possible. That, at least, is the goal.

So every year, the U.S. forces on peninsula come together and practice what it would be like for all these forces to arrive and how we would best deal with them and move them out to where they need to be. However, we do all this with no actual forces involved. Thousands of grown adults pretending imaginary forces are coming on ships and planes into theater, then unloading their imaginary baggage, then pretending to move across country to an imaginary battle that is not taking place. It's like the worlds most involved Dungeons & Dragons game with tanks instead of swords and wizards. I call it dorked up.

My biggest problem right now is convincing myself to "get into the role" of the exercise. I can't seem to get past the fact that it's so artificial and that no actual soldiers are moving around or helicopters inserting troops anywhere. It's fake. There's people that are thinking up "problems" that will happen during our time here so we can "solve" them and feel good about "overcoming an adversity". Am I using too many "quotes"? "Sorry".

Anyway, I would like to send you some pictures of the EOC (Emergency Operations Center) floor, because that is pretty cool. There's a giant 50'x20' video display that streches across the front of the floor. It's surrounded on both sides by four 50" flatscreen displays. Then on the floor are rows of desks with mics on them and a camera that automatically zooms onto your face when you speak into the mic. It's the kind of stuff that you see in the movies when they show the secret military underground command post. The only difference is that this place has a lot better lighting than in the movies. Also, no smoking. But other than that, pretty close.

I'll write again should any shenanigans take place here in the next week or so. But don't hold your breath.

Inside Karl's Head

This isn't really a Joel and Jessica post. It's actually an ol' blogging trick that I have gleaned recently. Here's the tip: see what's "hot" in news/entertainment, mention it a couple of times in your blog, and hope that the Google search picks it up and sends some readers your way.

So, Jessica and I have been enamored with the Ricky Gervais podcast over the last couple of weeks. He has a free 30-minute podcast over on iTunes that you can download for free. There's about 6 episodes that are up there right now. They are really really funny and I suggest that you check them out if you haven't already. By the way, assist to Justin for turning me on to them.

Most of the show is focused around Gervais and his buddy Steven Merchant "probing" into the mind of their producer Karl Pilkington. Karl Pilkington may be one of the most unusual characters in radio. He's a little bit of an idiot savant of comedy. I don't think anything he does/says is intentional, but it's really funny stuff. Here's a picture of Karl, by the way.

However, there is a little bit of a stir in the world of Gervais and Pilkington. As I said before, the podcast up to this point has been a free download on iTunes. But the honeymoon has ended, and now Gervais is charging $1.99 for each new episode. But this is apparently not kosher with the throngs of people that made Gervais' podcast the "most downloaded podcast" in the world. Many people have rejected the notion of dropping two bucks for a half-hour, non-video podcast. I half to kind agree with them. The shows were funny, but $2 funny? I think I'll wait for the bitTorrent to come out.

Hawaii: Not Just for Elvis Anymore

I'm a little stressed this week, as I'm still trying to recover from our vacation to Hawaii, so don't look for any cleaver comments in this post, just vacation photos. And poor sentence structure.

One of the first things we did was go on a hike through what I guess I can call a tropical rain forest to a waterfall. At the top of the mountain, we stopped to take a couple of pictures:

Between the five adults, we brought two video cameras and two still cameras, one of which was also capable of taking video, and three cell phones. Ah, to be away from it all!!

Surprisingly, we had the beach to ourselves, for the most part. Here is Aidan enjoying the lonely water at Waikiki Beach:

We didn't breathe in Hawaii unless Frommer's recommended it, thanks to Justin's careful research, although I found several of the activities "so last year":

In case you didn't get that joke, it's a 2005 copy of Frommer's Hawaii. Ha ha, I'm hilarious.

After Justin left, we really had fun! Friday, we climbed Diamondhead-here I am at the top, with the crater behind me.

Of course, it's a different experience hiking with a 30-lb weight on your back:

After a week, we felt like natives. Here I am trying to blend in:

Joel took it a step further:

It was especially nice for us to be able to go with babysitters- I mean, family. Here we are at the hotel:

All in all, it was an awesome trip. I just encourage everyone to go now, while it's still "indie," before everyone finds out about this new 50th state. Hope you all enjoy the pictures and aren't too jealous. By the way, Tab, how about some of the Caymans??

Aidan Kaufman

I know, two posts in one day. It's like it's your birthday or something. This will probably blow my load for the week, so enjoy.

In the past, it's been pointed out that my younger brother Justin bears a resemblance to the late comedian Andy Kaufman. Personally, I didn't see it. But that's me.

Well, the mantle has apparently been passed to the next generation. My own son, Aidan, has recently appeared in some photographs looking suspiciously like Mr. Kaufman. Let's see that side-by-side comparison. First, Andy then Aidan.

Well, the jury is out. There is a contingent on the Interweb that insist that Andy Kaufman lives. They are generally creepy and too cryptic for this guy. Perhaps Aidan is the reincarnation of Andy? If you have a minute, drop a comment on whether you think Aidan looks like Andy. We'll tally the votes and post the winning opinion. Happy posting!

Not-So-Super Friends

While we were in Hawaii last week, Jessica went to a swap meet/flea market and bought Aidan a set of toys. It was a set of six for $8; pretty good deal, I thought. Granted, they were not "officially licensed" toys. Just a bunch of made in China knockoffs. But at $8, can't really expect too much.

Anyway, we got them back to the hotel room and showed them to Aidan, who promptly went ape-shit over them. He's been in a little bit of a Batman phase. Every superhero that he sees he calls "Batman". But he gets exceptionally excited over actual Batman stuff.

So he tears into the toys and starts playing around with them. Nothing too extreme, just the kind of treatment that you'd expect a two year old to deal to toys. Within minutes, Batman lost his first arm. We were a little surprised that he didn't last a little longer. But before we could dwell too much on it, Spiderman lost a leg. And it just continued from there.

The toys stayed with us for the rest of the trip and on the plane ride back to Korea, but they were not without casualties. Here's a line up of the previously Dynamic Sextet:



As you can see, only the Thing and Mr. Incredible have survived with all limbs intact. I credit their superhuman strength and non-articulated knees and elbows. But the real tragedy is Superman. Have a closer look:



Both arms, one leg and a head. He got hit harder than Christopher Reeve. Boo-ya!

And now... Back to the Show!

We've been on a little bit of a hiatus the past week or so because we've been on a fabulous week long vacation in beautiful Hawaii. It was incredible and we've got plenty of pictures and things to talk about, but that's for a later post. Today I have to clean out some old stuff that I've been procrastinating on.

Many of you have probably seen the news about the Muslim outcry about the Danish cartoon depicting Muhammad. All over the world, angry Muslims are rioting and protesting outside Danish embassies, showing their capacity for forgiveness and understanding that is the hallmark of the Islamic faith.

Well, we happen to live about a block from embassy row here in Seoul. There's embassies from all over the world there, including our friends the Danes. Check it.



And the Seoul Police department, in an attempt to be proactive, have stationed riot police outside the Danish ambassador's house to keep protect the guy and avoid an international incident. Here's the riot police outside the house with full riot gear.


Notice anything different about this picture than the images that you've seen on the news from around the world? Maybe a complete lack of angry, rioting Muslims? Notice that the cops are smiling and waving. One of them is even giving the ubiquitous Korean peace sign. These guys have been outside the Danish embassy for weeks, with nary a protestor in sight. Jessica and I drive by these guys every day, and the only thing I see them doing is trying to keep warm.

I think this is really interesting for a couple of reasons. First off, I think it shows that there are virtually no Muslims in Seoul. This in itself is noteworthy because the Iranian embassy is two doors down on the other side of the street. Second, this shows a little insight into the Korean reaction to riots and protests.

We'll keep an eye out on these riot cops and let you know how long they stand out there. Brrrrr!

I almost forgot. Please do yourself a favor and check out some of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time. Tourettes Guy. If you're easily offended by profanity, you might want to avoid it. Enjoy.

Available at your local mall

...Provided you live in Seoul, that is. All of these pictures are from one visit to COEX mall. It is hard to believe so much is packed into one building, even if it is "the largest underground shopping complex in Asia." At the arcade, we found this nice children's game called, "Poka Poka Satan":

Or, you could take a "Magical Truck Adventure" by pumping an old-time railroad trolley. I call the Elvis character!!!

Once you've spent all the quarters you've earned raking leaves and mowing lawns, you can enjoy some free fun by playing on the interactive light-up floor, in the middle of the walkway through the mall, where you are certainly NOT in everyone's way.

You can get some help from an information booth attendant who just came from a production of The Great Gatsby. (By the way, this is the uniform they ALL wear, at ALL the malls, not just one wierdo.)
Or, you can talk to a monkey, bear, or any of the other fuzzy-costumed characters wandering around.

Unfortunately, we couldn't get a good picture of the dance contest that was being held in center court, but just picture the nerdy Asian guy from your college math class doing some bad hip-hop moves. We've heard rumors that malls not only hold daily dance contests, but also fights on the weekends, so we'll have to check that out and let you know.

What, Harry Connick, Jr is busy this year??

I was surprised to find that Mardi Gras is being held right now, from February 11-28. Judging from the parade schedule, it's not a scaled-down version this year, but a big event just like before. In fact, it is the 150th year of Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans, which is kind of sad- I'm sure it would have been an even bigger deal this year to mark the anniversary.
However, the most disappointing aspect of the parade season to the locals is not that parts of the town are still so damaged, or that many friends and family members have died, moved, or been dislocated, or that there will be many fewer tourists to support the economy this year, or that the fate of the city is in the hands of a man who is asking the world for financial support of a chocolate city, but that Jim Belushi & Dan Aykroyd are the "celebrity riders" for Endymion this year. Haven't New Orleanians suffered enough, without another hackneyed Blues Brothers preprisal?? Give the poor people a break. I think it's asking a lot of them to drum up all that fake enthusiasm when putting on cheap black plastic glasses and hearing "Soul Man" for the hundreth time.
Left: Two of the two people who will enjoy the Aykroyd/Belushi appearance.


The picture at the very top is a Willy Wonka/Ray Nagin chocolate factory themed float. Many of the themes this year are Katrina-related, like "C'est Levee," "Buy us back, Chirac," "New Orleans Culture (as in mold)," and the one above, "Willy Nagin and the Chocolate Factory."

This is NC-17 material in the states

When ever someone moves to a foreign country, you always hear that its "the little things" that are the most different, that really make you feel like you are away from home. At other times, it's the huge, glaring differences that make you stop and stare and think, "where am I and who are these people?" This is one of he latter times- check this out:

There are so many things to say about this... I don't even know where to start. I guess the first thing to point out is that these are not being sold in a "Spenser's"-type place; this is (unbelievably) a nicer home furnishings store in one of the big underground malls, although I know the suspended chihuahua in the sweater and the disco ball imply otherwise. I'm sure that Cameron is a paid spokesmodel for these, too, judging from the cut-from-a-magazine picture that is serving as a floating head. Also note the surprising racial equality shown by the "pillow" manufacturers- nipples are available in petal pink, fuschia, or mahogany, all on very pale chocolate-chip shaped breasts, just like in real life. Check out Beyonce's:

Nice!
Finally, who are these for? They were sort of in a Valentine's Day display; I certainly hope no Korean woman opens one of these up on the fourteenth and is happy about it.

Long time, no type

I should first apologize for not posting in so long, but I was totally obsessed about this book I was reading, Freakonomics. Joel and I heard the author on NPR before we left the states, so don't even bother telling me how behind the hipster scene I am- believe me, I already know.
Anyway, it is written by an economics professor, and the jist of it is that he looks at regular things from an economics perspective, figuring out how people respond to incentives for certain behavior and what seemingly unrelated things are really very strongly correlated. If for no other reason, it was cool to see the list of popular baby names, as ranked by their mother's education and income level. If we want to keep up with the smarties, we'd better plan on having a baby Glynnis (female) or Dov (male) in the near future.
Anyway, I also got a new job- or, I should say, an additional job. I am going to be the head cashier at a volunteer-run furniture and gift store on post. It is kind of like an Asian Pier 1, with all kinds of things imported from Thailand, China, Hong Kong, Japan, the Phillipines, Vietnam, etc. It is only two and a half days a week, but that, plus my master's degree, Aidan, and the 7.5 hours I tutor should keep me pretty busy, I think. If it gets to be too much, look for my suicide-note blog entry, a la Cheryl's friend Yoshi on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Here is a picture of some of the kids I tutor:

I have nine 25-minute classes a day, with a total of over 80 kids. I also have another job teaching adults.

OK, checking out. Send in your suggestions of what you want to see and hear about- I think we are already getting jaded to what's so different about being in Korea.

The Five Parts of Asia

Jessica and I went to the Korean National Museum on the Tuesday after MLK Day. I know that's been almost two weeks from now and we have yet to post. Our bad. We've gotten caught up in our own lives for a little and forgot about our loyal 200+ viewers. We'll make it up to you.

Anyway, we forgot to bring our camera to the museum take some awesome pictures; however, I pulled this picture from the web so you can get a feel for what this place looks like.

First off, you should know that this museum sits on what used to be the golf course at Yongsan garrison. It was supposedly a real sweet golf course that all the generals would go play golf on in downtown Seoul. It would be the equivalent of having a 18 hole golf course in the middle of New York City that only a foreign government's soldiers could play on. Needless to say, the Koreans did not really appreciate having this golf course there. So after years of protesting and bargaining, the U.S. Army agreed to turn that land back over to the Korean government. They took the land and built this giant museum there. You can't really get a good feel for how huge this building is, but it's several city blocks long.

So Jessica and I are strolling through this museum, checking out all the exhibits. The building itself was absolutely impressive. However, I have to say that the museum was lacking in the exhibit department. The building was so huge that it seemed empty. There was a huge section on the Korean language, Hanguel. FYI, it was created in the 1400s by a Korean king to help give his people some national identity and to separate them from the Chinese language. At one point, we were looking at a section which had a full scale mock-up of a Korean king's throne room, when a Korean tour guide comes up to us and asks if we know what we're looking at. We said, "Not really," and he proceeds to launch into a full-blown speil about the throne. We were a little taken aback, but actually grateful for the one-on-one interaction. He goes into this incredibly elaborate history lesson about the Asian culture; hence the title of this entry.

What he tells us is that there is a particular order of things in the mind of the Korean, and to a greater extent, all Asians. It's generally focused around the four cardinal directions plus one: north, south, east, west, and center. On top of these directions are five colors: red, yellow, blue, black, and white. To this add five guardian deities: dragon, tiger, phoenix, turtle, and dragon. Yes, there are two dragons. Don't kill the messenger. Additionally, there are five classes of people: the king, the royal court, the queen, commoners, and ancestors. I know this gets a little confusing, but imagine our predicament. Every time this guy rattled off one of these groups, he then asked us to repeat it back to him. And he would not accept us messing a piece up! It was a little taxing. Anyway, I made this easy-to-follow chart so that you folks at home can follow along better. Behold:



So after he finishes explaining all this to us, he then proceeds to take us around the museum and show us some of the archeological exhibits. As he is showing them to us and talking about them, he points out that they all follow this five-part design scheme. Most of it is extremely subtle; if we didn't have this old guy to explain it to us and point it out we never would have discovered it ourselves. But sure enough, almost every sculpture, painting, and carving have elements in it that mirrored up with the five-parts that the guide had described to us. It was one of those "ah-ha" moments that you rarely get to experience when you're an adult. I guess it's something like Fung Shui in that the placement of certain symbols and colors signifies certain things.

All in all, it was a pretty interesting visit, and a steal at just $2 each to get in. We'll probably go back in the summer because they have a huge garden outside the place that should be something to see when it's not 30 F. When we do, we'll try to get a snapshot of some five-parts of Asian examples.

Snakes... on a Plane?

"On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, let loose a crate full of deadly snakes."

The above is the tagline from an upcoming movie called "Snakes on a Plane" that is scheduled to come out sometime in '06. I know some of you "internet hipsters" have probably already heard of this back in August when there was a buzz because of the entry on a screenwriter Josh Friedman's blog. But, I just heard about it the other day; and since this is my blog, I'm going to mention it today.

The movie stars the incomparable Samuel L. Jackson as an FBI agent who happens to be on the plane for some reason. Maybe to catch the snakes? Perhaps to escort the snakes to their final destination? Who knows; I guess we'll have to wait for this summer. Here's a picture of Sam L. boarding the plane.


Of course the real star of the show here is the snakes. Here's a shot of rubber snakes crawling on Goodburger's own Kenan Thompson as he sits and ponders them. What exactly do you think the director's guidance to him was on this scene? "Look... puzzled."


The other side note about this film is that the title has started to become the new "Shit happens". For example:

Man 1: Hey dude, you just got your third parking ticket and they towed your car... Now you're going to be late for your big date!

Man 2: Snakes on a plane, man. Snakes on a plane.

See how easily it rolls off the tongue. I challenge each of you to incorporate it into your daily speech. Be using the next big thing before it's the next big thing. Alright, daisybreak you later.

Who green lighted this project?!?

My new hobby is reading the descriptions of television shows in the newspaper. Before you feel too sorry for me and my pathetic life, check out these gems that make "Fonzie jumps the shark" or cousin Oliver joining the Bradys look like television magic:
"The Cosby Show- Cliff suffers nightmares after he eats something he shouldn't have. Guest appearance by The Muppets."
What the hell did he eat?? I think this picture shows the Huxtables right after Cliff told Claire about his crazy dreams- ha ha!

"The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air- As a new poetry club member, Will is forced to do some quick thinking."
Who let Will joing the poetry club in the first place is the real question.

"Lizzie McGuire- Lizzie's plans with Ethan and her dad clash on the same night."
Maybe Lizzie should watch one of the 10,000 shows that has handled this hilarious problem in the past.

And the most ridiculous one I've found--
"Three's Company- Teri falls for Jack when he buys a false mustache."
What, the tiny satin shorts/knee high athletic socks didn't get her? The gold chains paired with open necked, polyesther dress shirt? The Magnum, P.I. Hawaiian shirt? Too bad he's into dudes.

If this hot picture of Jack is making you nostalgic for Three's Company, check this out.

Strange Parallels

Just a quick, stupid observation.

As some of you may or may not know, I am currently assigned to the staff of the Eighth United States Army in Korea. I noticed today that our unit patch bears an uncanny resemblance to the corporate logo of the insidious Umbrella Corporation from the Resident Evil games and movies. Don't believe me? Check out these side by side comparisons:

First, the Eighth Army Patch

Now have a look at the Umbrella logo

Coincidence? Umbrella Corporation specializes in medical experiments and creates zombies with its T-virus. So what could that possibly have to do with 8th Army? Nothing, at all.

Nothing... unless...

HOLY CRAP! ZOMBIE SOLDIERS! Take that, terrorists!

It's time for the Bloggies!!

In keeping with the end-of-year frenzy to compile best of/worst of 2005 lists, I present our Fillet of Seoul Awards ceremony, The Bloggies! For those of you that are site regulars, enjoy this walk down memory lane; for new readers, use this oportunity to catch up on the highlights of our awesome blog. Enjoy!!

Biggest Contributer

Eric "Tab O'Miley" Yeager, with six comments posted to the blog. Joel and I get positively giddy when we read your opinions, so keep it up!
Honorable Mention: Pat and Laurie, my dad, and the Bevins family, with two posts each.

Best Post

Cross Cultural Explosion!!!! is the big winner- because it is about pizza, obviously.
Honorable Mention: They warned me!, in which I break the news that Americans smell like butter and that Koreans can't drive.

Best Picture

Sam the Snowman, from the Destiny's Child, have you no shame?? post. Many of you may be partial to cutie-pie Aidan pictures, but Sam's Colonel Sanders/R&B look takes the cake.

Honorable Mention: Aidan's near nude shot in They warned me! will be shown to future girlfriends for years to come.

To pick up your award, get in touch with that biker guy.

And that concludes tonight's ceremony. Thank you to all of the people and things that made this blog possible. Seacrest, OUT!

This is for real

We've all had some chuckles over Korean culture and the like, but when we saw this yesterday our reaction bordered on terrified. Aidan was watching Korean kid's TV when a show popped on that freaked us out. It was shot with a camera, but the characters weren't moving like some extremely low budget cartoon show. Upon closer inspection, we saw that they weren't people at all, but mannequins dressed up and posed out in public. Behold!

Yes, that's three vaguely Korean looking mannequins posed to look like they're interacting with each other. There were voices dubbed over, to make it seem like they were talking. Also the camera would cut from character to character to give the appearance that they were more than mannequins. I've seen this done with other inanimate things before as a cheap way to make an anthropomorphic toaster seem more alive, but when used with the mannequins it gives a completely different, creepy feeling.

Also, the "little girl" in this picture is dressed a little inappropriately, I think. Not to be a prude, but I just don't think that a pre-pubescent girl needs to wear a Charo outfit. Maybe you think that makes me an old man. Maybe you should check out this next picture before you make that decision. Shazam!

Ok, anyone else think that's a little much? Keep in mind that this was on a Korean kids show. Whatever. I've got one more gem for you. In the first picture there was a little old lady with her back to the camera. That was, I assume, Grandmother. In this next one, we get a better view of her; additionally, she's joined by Grandfather. Here's the rub, they're both tiny as hell! It's kind of hard to see in this picture, but both of these old people were shorter than the little boy. In fact, I'm pretty sure that they are just other children mannequins dressed up as old people. Witness!

Check out those glasses! Awesome! And that bonnet on the old lady! Nuts! Hopefully you've gotten as much of a laugh out of this as we did. Maybe someone can turn this into the next American kid's show sensation. Just remember where you saw it first.

Oh, and check out this awesome death ray.

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown!

I've always disliked New Year's Eve. It seems like there is this expectation that it's got to be this insane blow out where everyone cuts loose and goes "CWAZY"- but it never lives up to the hype. It's like New Year's eve is the Las Vegas of holidays, if that makes any sense. Hmm, I wonder what New Year's in Las Vegas is like...
Anyway, this year, we decided at the last minute to go to a party at the hotel here on post with some friends. It turned out to be pretty fun, and we remembered to take lots of pictures to share with you all.
Here is an awesome picture of Joel and I, circa 1920, at the Dragon Hill. We met up with Kat and Tyler there. Kat's two sisters, Heidi and Gretchen, and Kat's parents were in town for the big night, and we also met up with Gavin and Leah, Tim and Sarah, Matt and Kacie, and the Endrikens. Y'all got the official blog shout out, yo.

Destiny's Child, have you no shame??

Jessica and I witnessed something last night that had both of us laughing/cringing for the better part of an hour. We borrowed a DVD copy of the classic stop animation Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Side note to Team 13: It belonged to Kacie. One of the extra features on the DVD was something called "Destiny's Child Video". We couldn't resist watching; like the car crash metaphor. Words can't really describe how funny this was, that's why I grabbed a couple of stills from it to share.



It opens up with a stop animation DC dropping it like it's hot in the studio. Nothing too crazy here, unless you count the stop animation DC. They're singing a souled-up version of the classic Rudolph song. They sing a little here, then the scene changes and they put on snowboarding attire and go racing down the slopes to meet up with Rudolph himself.







So they give him a big hug, as they sing their hook, "Rudolph, we love you boy." But then things take another turn. They get into some triangle formation and do this spinny move to reveal...








that their snowsuits have been covering up revealing ghetto rat clothes. If you look closely, you can see the snowsuits flying off the top of the screen. I could pull pictures from this sequence all day, but I have a limited amount of space here at Blogger.com, so I'll just let you know that once they shed the extra clothes, there was some pretty funny animated booty shaking going on. But that's not what really got Jessica and I laughing. That honor goes to this next picture.






This is Sam the Snowman. In the original "Rudolph", he's voiced by Burl Ives and does the narration on the story. That was in 1964. We can see that over the years, Sam began a successful career as a music producer and sound engineer. In this video, he's in the booth while the girls are singing in studio. Toward the end of the video, we see him as he is here, feeling the groove and waving his hands in the air. Some would say he's waving them like he just don't care. Thank you, Destiny's Child, for making me laugh harder than I have all week.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas from everyone's favorite reindeer/baby hybrid! To all of our friends and family around the world, we sincerely wish you all a very merry Christmas. Jessica and I were talking, and we realized that we truly do have friends scattered around the world. From here in Korea to Iraq, to the Cayman Islands, to places all over the U.S. We're very fortunate that no matter where we end up at, we're bound to be close to someone that we know. It's not everyday that you can say that.

In Korea, I'm quite fetching...

There's some things that happen in Korea that would never happen in the U.S. If there's a theme to this blog, I guess that's it. This is another tale to re-iterate that point.
So there I am, out in downtown Seoul buying our Filipino nanny a Christmas present. She had gotten us this sweet lamp that we had wanted so we thought it the least that we could do. By the way, this lamp is similar to another lamp that my parents got in the Philippines 30 years ago. My brother and I have an ongoing feud about who is going to eventually get this lamp. I decided to take matters into my own hands and get one myself. But I digress...
So I'm sitting in the store talking to the salesguy about getting our nanny her present. We haggle over the price and finally agree. Instead of picking up the purchase from him, he makes a call to his... supplier?... and tells me to wait five minutes for the guy to bring it around. So we're sitting uncomfortably silent for a couple of seconds before he asks me if I'm from the U.S. and how old I am. I tell him, not too surprised because Koreans love to ask you how old you are. It's a status thing. The older you are, the more respected you are. Then he goes on to tell me that I'm "very handsome, movie star." This was completely unsolicited and took me a little off guard. But I took in stride and we kept talking. Next he wanted to know who was the biggest movie star in America. He proposed that it was Brad Pitt. I agreed, saying he's probably the biggest right now. Then he said, "Tom Cruise?" and made that side-to-side hand tilt that means "a little fishy." I said that Tom was pretty big, but probably not the biggest anymore. This was all a little surreal. Then another Korean guy came in that worked there. Without asking the other guy, he asks me how old I am and tells me that I'm very handsome. Did I miss something? Why am I getting a creepy feeling all of a sudden about this place. But there was nothing strange in the way he said it. It was an honest compliment.
It had me thinking how strange and out of place that would be in America. As a guy, I can never ever think of a time when another guy has said how "handsome" I am. Let alone a salesman at a store. Imagine if you were at Best Buy and the kid showing you the TV's said, "Hey, you're a really good looking man." It just does not happen. Ever. But here, it's apparently not that uncommon.

On a completely unrelated topic, Aidan is arguably the safest baby in the world. This picture was completely unstaged and he brought me the safety gear to put on himself without any prompting. As far as an explanation why, I have yet to figure that one out. Enjoy.

They warned me!

Here's another unrelated picture that has nothing to do with the post- but I know everyone loves to see Aidan.

Before (and since) we came to Korea, lots of people warned us about "crazy" Korean customs, behaviors, etc. Although we have only been here two months, I feel totally confident in saying they were WRONG. Ha ha. Here are some common beliefs about Korea/ns and what I, the new Korean expert, think:
1. Koreans wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire. That's not exactly what I was told, but this is a family blog. This is supposedly based on their Buddhist beliefs, that everyone has a circle of friends/family to help them, and if you're not in theirs, someone in yours will eventually wander by and help you out. To the contrary, I have found Koreans to be very helpful. Once I didn't have any won for the subway, and the ticket guy let me put $1 in the charity box as payment instead. Downright sweet of him, I think.
2. Seoul is a filthy, disgusting city with unbreathable air. We have not yet been here in summer, when the smog is supposed to be worse, but again, I have to say I disagree with common perception. Seoul may have poor air quality, but it sure is tidy. Our building security guards are always sweeping and doing minor yard work, and I see old Koreans sweeping the streets with brooms all the time. National motto: If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.
3. Koreans smell like garlic and kimchi. Not so much; maybe this one has a little truth to it. But, you'll never guess what Koreans think Americans smell like- butter! If you think, "Butter doesn't smell so bad," then I challenge you to stick your nose in some room-temperature butter for a few minutes and see if you change your mind. I did.
4. Seoul is too expensive. I'm still debating this one. To make a fair judgment, I think you have to compare Seoul to other big cities, not cheapie suburban wonderlands like Clarksville. Unfortunately, I have never lived in another big city, so I can't say. Sure, a coke may cost $3.50 in restaurants, but you can also buy a Louis Vuitton wallet or an Abercrombie sweatshirt for $20. That's got to even out.
5. Koreans are crazy drivers. Guilty as charged.

Bonuses that no one told us about:
1. They play classical music and birds singing on the subway
2. The technology here is ridiculous- remote control ceiling lights, fingerprint locks on the front doors, security camera screens in the apartment so you can see who is outside your building or front door... It's crazy.
3. Korean cuisine is more than just kimchi and bulgogi- Joel loves kimbap (sushi), and my favorite is mandu (dumplings). Also, there is so much international food here- we've eaten at four different Indian places already.
4. Everyone speaks English- just not that well.

Walking in an Asian Wonderland

Well hello there. I didn't see you sitting there. I was just about to talk about the blight of the Korean pedestrian. [Note: no, the photo doesn't really go with this post, but here's the view out our side window after a recent snow.]

There's a couple of things you should know before driving or walking in Seoul. It is not like the U.S. I think I might have mentioned this in the past, but let me reiterate. First of all, you should know that Koreans hate sidewalks. Hate them. There is something in the national unconscious that causes them to be diametrically opposed to the concept of walking safely away from oncoming traffic. Mind you, this doesn't mean that they don't have sidewalks here. Hell no! In fact, the city is rife with wide, inviting sidewalks. The intersections often have gentle ramps up from the street to the sidewalk to ease in the pedestrian's transition. But, a typical Korean will walk two feet away from the sidewalk in traffic rather than on the sidewalk. I don't understand it. It's not that the sidewalks are crowded; it's more like they can't be bothered with maneuvering over to the sidewalk. It's baffling. The only exception to this are major roads i.e. greater than four lanes. The pedestrians will typically stay off these. But that doesn't stop the old women or men with the enormous push carts from taking up a lane.
These octogenarians will pull a giant cart, similar to a rickshaw, laden with whatever it is that they're selling in traffic as if they were a car. Cars and city buses just switch lanes and pass right by them without slowing down. I haven't see one splattered out from under their carts yet, but I'm certain that in this city of 12 million it must have happened once or twice.
As a westernized driver, there is a certain unspoken agreement between pedestrians and drivers that I subscribe to. Namely, if you are a pedestrian you will do your best not to step blindly out from the side of the street and into oncoming traffic. Likewise, if you are a driver you will come to a stop and yield to a pedestrian if they are in the process of crossing the street. Clearly, Koreans have no such agreement. While driving, I've had all types of people dart out in front of my car when they clearly did not have the right of way. Old ladies, mothers with children in strollers, members of the clergy. Similarly, as a pedestrian in a crosswalk with a green "walk" signal I've had all kinds of cars barrel on through as if I wasn't there. Taxis, police cars, the Popemobile. The really crazy part about it is that when they nudge you, or you nudge them, they look at you with complete surprise and bewilderment, as if saying, "Holy crap, where did you come from? What are you doing in my way?" But never angry. Always stunned or... befuddled, I guess.

I went out today to buy Jessica a Christmas present. Can't say what, because she reads this and I don't want to give her any hints. Anyway, on the way back home I made a detour by the electronic mart to see what all they had out. I walked out to this one pavilion that seemed to have a lot of activity. Sitting out on this sidewalk was every type of computer component that you could have imagined. Cases, motherboards, power supplies, DVD drives, graphics cards. All of it legit looking and all of it cheap. Like 75% off cheap from what you'd expect in the states. Also, they had some of the ubiquitous bootleg DVD guys out there too. Some guys were selling a box-set of the first four Harry Potter movies, to include the one that's in the theaters right now. I saw one guy playing it at his cart and it looked really good. I think I'll wait a couple of weeks and pick King Kong up on DVD when it's released in theaters. 'Yoink!

Sick House

Well it's flu season, and our house has been hit hard. Aidan came down with something earlier this week, and he's just had a rough time kicking it. Lots of coughing, sneezing, wheezing. He's had a hard time sleeping at night, which means that we're having a hard time sleeping at night. If that weren't enough, Jessica has caught whatever Aidan has been carrying and she's been done for a couple of days now. So our Saturday was spent mostly sleeping and resting up. Lots of fluids, etc. You know the drill. On the bright side, it's been pretty cold and overcast recently so we wouldn't be able to do a lot outside anyway. I guess it's as good a weekend as any to get sick.
To keep myself amused, I did just get in my DSM-520, D-Link HD Media Server. I hooked it up Thursday and we've been playing with it since then. Basically, its a wireless receiver that hooks up to my HDTV via HDMI and plays music, video, and pictures from my computer, in high definition. We've been pulling U.S. shows off the internet using BitComet. It's been great, because we can get anything that shows in the states almost immediately after it airs. Plus, no commercials! Anyway, Jessica and I have been enjoying it a lot. It definitely beats sitting in front of the little computer screen to watch T.V.
Tonight we're going to duck out and leave Aidan with a sitter while we go see Harry Potter on post. I'll let you know how it is.