Banzai!

Back from Japan, and what a place!! We spent four days there and it was too short. Plus, the weather was poor (read:rain) for the days that we were there, but miraculously cleared up on the last day that we were there. Jessica was feeling under the weather for some of the trip, so that plus the rain plus a two year old cut a little into what we were able to due during our time there; however, we were able to hit some pretty cool stuff while we were there. For example:

• Saw the Imperial Palace
• Caught a Kabuki show
• Went to a sumo match
• Visited the world's largest fish market
  

Here's a quick picture tour from the "Land of the Rising Sun".

Our first stop was the Imperial Palace. Much like the White House, you couldn't really waltz up into the palace. They had a huge moat (50 feet wide at least) all around the castle. I thought it was a great way to keep the "undesirables" out. Maybe something to consider, George W.?


Next was the sumo match. Tickets were a little high, but we were there for hours and had pretty good seats. I'll throw a sumo video up to give you a taste of the action In the meantime, here some looks from the stadium. These flags are displayed out in front of the stadium and I think are the wrestler's banners. Colorful!

Here's a couple of the dudes squaring off for a match. When they touch their second hand to the ground, then the wrestlers start fighting. It was pretty intensive stuff.


On the last day, I went solo to the Tsukiji Fish Market, one of the largest in the world. I was there early at 6:00 AM to see the action. It was amazing. The place takes up probably three city blocks or more and is crammed with every thing that comes out of the sea that you can eat. The biggest thing there was the tuna, and it was huge. Most people think of tuna coming in a little can, but these monsters was huge. Have a look:


Those tuna are resting on one of those huge shipping palette. Each of them was probably 150-200 lbs each. And there were hundreds of them all around the market. While I was down there, I found a small sushi bar that had the best, freshest sushi I've ever had. Indescribably good.

If you get a chance, check out Japan. A little pricey, yes. But totally worth it the visit.

Toyko = Awesome

Also, Tokyo > Seoul.

More to follow.

Ice Age 2: Electric Bugaloo

So, we're here in Tokyo, and I am stuck in the hotel doing some school work for a couple of hours, and I'm watching The History Channel. A show comes on called "MegaDisasters: Mega Freeze," and I am immediately cynical; Aren't we supposed to be preparing for global warming? I better check it out- after all, it is "Violent Earth Week."
In the first ten minutes, I am BLOWN AWAY by what a hyperbolic "The Day After Tomorrow" piece of promotion work this show is. Apparently, it's going to get about 15-20 degrees colder "in the blink of an eye," changing our climate "like a light switch," resulting in a Northeastern U.S. and Western Europe that will be "a relic of what it once was." They use the uber-technical term "rapid climate change" to describe this, and list a "chain reaction of calamities" including Black Death, the American and French revolutions, canibalism, volcanic erruptions, the economic collapse of European countries (not named specifically, sorry), and more, all due to the weather dropping "a few degrees." Holy S!
Thankfully, we might only experience a temperature drop of only a few degrees- but with greater disasters! The graphic they show looks like the Sherwin-Williams logo, but with a can of "Decorator White" spilling over the top of the globe. Don't think you are safe in the south- you'll get floods, famine, hurricanes, and more. Get that boating license now, because this will all happen in "our lifetime," of course.
On a serious note, ahem... I am so frustrated by the climate change discussion. Which is it, we have brought ourselves to the brink of climate disaster, or we can change it by making minor lifestyle changes like driving hybrids? I just don't see how both are possible. Either we made a huge mess and need to make major changes accross the world to correct it, or it's not that big of a deal and we can affect the changes we do make with minor, simple changes like recycling and deciding what we want from the fride door before opening the door (an actual item from an Earth Day brouchure from our power company last year).
So, let's just clear up the confusion here, OK? I'm sure this blog attracts physicists, climate change experts, geologists, right? I'll take a Marine Biologist, if that's all we've got...anyone??

Enter the Dragon

Without looking ahead, can anyone guess what this is a picture of?

Aidan and I were cruising around Seoul killing some time on a Saturday. We pass a major intersection that usually has a fountain next to it. The fountain hasn't been running lately, or at least I haven't see it because I've been out of town for a couple of weeks. In its place, however, is a giant wicker dragon! And by giant, I mean on the order of four or five stories. The picture above is a close up of the undulating body. Here's a better side shot of the whole thing. Check out the kids sitting up on top.

That's not exactly to scale, as the dragon didn't dwarf the 30+ story buildings in the background. But it was huge. More importantly, it wasn't there three weeks ago. It's a temporary structure that was erected for some reason and will be taken down in the near future, I'd imagine.

Driving down the street and happening upon this giant dragon made of bamboo and steel skeleton, I couldn't help but being overcome by delight. As hackney as that sounds, it's true. How wonderful is it to be surprised by the extraordinary when you're not expecting it? After seeing this beast up close, I took some liberties to spruce it up a bit with Photoshop to make it a little more fantastic. Don't know about you, but I always thought dragons should be green.

Cricket Update

I'm back from my exercise in Korea. Good news: we won. We always do.

Some of you might remember the Crickets!! post from a few days back when I was talking about the cricket in my bathroom. If not, it's a few posts behind this one; take a look to refresh your memory. The cricket in that particular post had a distinct pattern to his song that I talked about there. This afternoon, I was parking the car in the parking garage and I heard another cricket with a different sound altogether.

Instead of the "chirp-chirp pause chirp-chirp" pattern that the other cricket had, this one played a continuous, droning chirp. Like a broken record. What's the deal with this cricket? Is he a more contented cricket? Or was the first one happier and this one the scared one? Or are the completely different species of crickets altogether, each with a distinct song? If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that the first cricket (aka toilet cricket) sounded under duress while the second cricket (aka garage cricket) seemed more at ease. But who's to say?

By the way, at Jessica's request this will be the last cricket post.

Athiests who are afraid of death- I have bad news for you

I know I've been making a lot of posts lately- can you tell I have important schoolwork I'm putting off?- but here is one more hilarious thing I found on another person's website, "Depression, Anxiety, and Worry - What Can an Atheist (Or Anyone Else) Do About Them?"
It basically lists anxious or depressive thoughts people might have, and compares the way a religious person and an athiest would handle those thoughts. I was scanning down the list when I saw this one:

4. Overcoming the fear of death
The religious solution
The Christian religion promises its followers eternal life. Death is merely a transition from living this life to living the next life. Our death in this world is the opening to a much more wonderful world in the afterlife.
The atheist solution
(under development)

Under development!! Haven't quite figured that one out yet, huh, Harvard scholar? It does seem to put a big black mark on your case for atheism, but I will certainly give you credit for unapologetically laying your shortcomings out there for all to see.

He also suggests an unusual remedy for feelings of anxiety:
"Next get a hammer and touch the cold metal to your bones: cheek bones in turn, forehead, nose, shoulders, hip bones, elbows, knees, ankle bones, and soles of the feet."

Hope you're not feeling anxious AND full of guilt or depressed with that hammer in your hands.

However, you just CAN NOT MISS this ridiculous, self-important tyrade he has posted against his daughter-in-law. The sheer amount of time and effort he put into writing this, without ever realizing how insane he is and how he should just let this go, is proof-positive why you should NOT believe anything on his other site. One of my favorite parts is when he thinks an article about a school shooting, in which bullying is named as a contributing factor in the episode, is relevant to his relationship with his daughter-in-law, by whom he feels bullied. Boo-hoo!!! She had better make up with you before you start wearing that black trenchcoat around school (by the way, he and his wife are teachers).

Maybe you want to checkout his other sites:
You Should Have Told Me - Home Hygiene and Home Routines
Health Tips: How to Prevent Hemorrhoids, Bladder Infections, and Heartburn
The Sherlock Holmes Diet - Losing Weight Naturally by Knowing How to Eat

Oh, if only there was some way to contact him...oh, yeah, there is: interlac@erols.com

For parents who can't afford those steep pageant fees

Clicking a link led me to a page that led me to this page: www.babyvsbaby.com
It's like "Am I hot or not: Baby Edition." I went through a few of the "battles," as they call them, and felt gross judging one baby over another, none of which were really that cute (let's just say there are no baby Gap modeling contracts in these kids' futures). If, on the other hand, you enjoy harshly judging children that aren't even old enough to consent to being put on public display, you will probably also enjoy clicking on the "Losingest Babies" section. Enough said.
On that note, let's take a look at Jbaby, the most losingest baby, located on the right.

Manifestation of the Buddha of Compassion, my ass

I went to the library to get a book on CD to put onto my iPod, because who reads these days, and I picked up one called "How to Expand Love: Widening the Circle of Loving Relationships" by the Dalai Lama. Knowing nothing about Buddhism, yet living in a Buddhist country, I thought I would make myself more culturally aware and expand my philosophical horizons. Plus, the English-language radio station here stinks.

However, this book (or the electronic recording of it, anyway) is just cwazy. I guess everyone's religion looks insane from the outside- virgin birth, anyone?- but assertions like my thoughts today can affect other people's past and future lives "in all worlds" were too much for me. I am just too much of a pragmatist to believe my thoughts are able to engage in time-travel. I am also opposed to meditating that "all sentient beings" be born into future lives with "good physiques." What, do bugs need to put that in their personal ads?

Maybe I am being too hard on him. It seems like he is going through a rough time- look at this must-be-true info I got off Wikipedia:
The current Dalai Lama has repeatedly stated that he will never be reborn inside ... of China, [and] occasionally suggested that he might choose to be the last Dalai Lama by not being reborn at all. However, he has also stated that the purpose of his repeated incarnations is to continue unfinished work and, as such, if the situation in Tibet remains unchanged, it is very likely that he will be reborn to finish his work. ... It is also worth mentioning that the 14th Dalai Lama has stated "Personally, I feel the institution of the Dalai Lama has served its purpose."

China, you've made the Dalai Lama, possibly the most peaceful man on earth, so pissed he's threatening to refuse to be reborn! Of course, he MUST be, so ...I guess he will... but not under YOU and your oppressive government! Take that!

In researching this blog post (yeah, can you believe I do that?) I did read a lot of sensible, thought-provoking quotes he has made about peace and self-control, so maybe I just got his "Spaghetti Incident" instead of his "Appetite for Destruction." Use your own judgment.

Crickets!!!

I'm in a crappy "computer lab" here in Korea. I'm being rushed out because there's people waiting and "everyone gets a turn". Take a long walk of a short pier, I say.

Anyway, this has been bugging me for the last two days and I didn't get a chance to write about it for a while. There's a cricket in my bathroom. He's been there for two days now. Chirping. Today I thought he was dead or moved on because he was quiet this morning; but this evening he's back at it again.

Originally, he annoyed me. I just wanted to brush my teeth and use the crapper in piece. Instead I'm assaulted by this chirp-chirping. I toyed around with trying to hunt him down and shmoosh him, but I was rushed in the AM and he got a reprieve. Then yesterday I was taking a shower and I stopped to listen to his chirp.

Chirp-chirp.

Chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp.

Chirp-chirp-chirp.

There seemed to be a rhythm or pattern emerging. I didn't hang out long enough to empirically capture the pattern of the chirps, but there seemed to be a couple of consistancies. First, the chirps came in bursts, followed by a pause. Second, they came in groups as short as two, but no longer than six. Third, the three chirp burst seemed to be the most frequent.

This had me thinking: is this really some short of cricket language? Is it preposterous to place a label like "language" on what could very well be a series of random cricket sounds that have no underlying meaning? Maybe I'm not qualified enough to make that assessment. But it does beg the question that if this is a cricket language, then what is the cricket trying to say?

Is he scared? Unfamiliar with his surroundings and in a strange world, is he pleading to other crickets out to help lead him back to a more hospitable place? Maybe he's trying to call other crickets to him. Maybe finding my bathroom is the best thing that can happen to a cricket. It's damp, there's plenty of food lying about in the trash, there's no birds flying about trying to snatch you up in their beaks. Could be worse, I suppose.

However, the pragmatist in me thinks that the chirps probably don't amount to anything sophisticated enough to call a language. They may have meaning, but not in the same way that we understand language. I guess that sucks some of the fun out of the idea of the cricket language, but I think it's still a novel idea.

So there.

Name Game

Things are finally coming to a close here on my little trip away from home. We should wrap up on Friday, but I won't be coming home until Saturday. Stinks.

On a lighter note, I've got a small collection of funny Army names that I've noted while I'm down here that I wanted bring to your attention. In the military, you run across many names that, when paired up with the appropriate rank, suddenly become a big ha-ha. These are actual people that work around me in the Army, for those that are curious about whether I'm just spouting off names.

The first one is Major Risk. She's a medical planner and verges on paranoid. The name doesn't necessarily describe her to a T. It'd be better if she was some sort of reckless pilot-type.

Next is my personal favorite: Colonel Sanders. This one probably needs no explanation, but whenever I see him I can't help but think of the line from Spaceballs. "What's the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken?"

The last one is maybe a little inappropriate for our younger readers. It's Major Wood. As in, "Watch out, that team has Major Wood." Har-de-har-har.

Well, that's all I got. I'll keep me eye out for more. Until then.

Jessica's Funny Comment

Jessica is sad that she doesn't get the responses to her blog posts that I sometimes do. She was telling me this the other night on the phone. She made a pretty funny comparison about her posts and my posts. She says:

"I write interesting stories and put up pictures about Korea and our adventures here, and I get no response. I pour out my heart and get nothing back. You write a post saying 'Hey, I had an awesome poot today!' and someone responds with 'Dude, remember that awesome poot you did that one time!?!' "

There's only response I can have to that: Hey, I had an awesome poot today!

This is Gay

Well, I'm not sure if this is gay or super dorky. Either way, I lose. But you're the one who's reading my blog, so what's that say about you? Bottom line is, let's not point fingers here and just look at the damn picture:

If you don't recognize what this is supposed to be, don't fret. You might not be a nerd. If you do, my condolences. This is supposed to be a real-life Firefox from the web-browser by the same name. Here's their logo:

I saw this link off Digg, so I can't take full credit. They, in turn, lifted it from a website called (sit down for this one) ThingsThatMakeYouGoAhh.com. Unbelievable what some people have time to write about on their blogs. *cough* irony *cough*

Is this dorky? Yes. Gay? Probably. Blog-worthy? Why not?

Wasting Away in Korea

Another day in Korea, twiddling my thumbs while I wait out my sentence during this training exercise. The count-down has already begun in the barracks. "11 days and a wake up," is what some of the veterans to this thing have started saying. That's really twelve days left, but you don't count the last one as a whole day because you'll be back in your own bed that night.

I didn't get any replies to my request for "Snakes on a Plane" reviews in my last post, but Brizmo made a comment that brought back some memories of an idea that I had kicked around back in high school. It's the "20 Year Movie". A quick Google search shows that, so far, no one else has concocted this idea across all known civilization. Here's the run-down:

Through some Deus Ex Machina mechanism, Earth is provided with a 20 Year Movie. It could come from some alien race, time travelers, Jesus, it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that this movie takes 20 years of solid, dedicated viewing to watch all of it. We're talking 2-3 hours of daily viewing, 7 days a week. It's enough so that it requires a serious time commitment on your part. The good news is that this will be, definitively, the best movie of all time. Assume that the otherworldly mechanism that introduced the movie also has a supernatural talent for plot and storyline. It'll be better than Citizen Kane, the Godfather, Star Wars, etc. It's really good. The down side is that you can't miss a day of watching. You have to be committed; all in or out. If you miss a day, you can't "catch back up" on the story. You will not be allowed to view any more of the 20 Year Movie under any circumstances.

So the question is: would you watch the 20 Year Movie?

Drop a comment and let me know your stance. Happy viewing.

Snakes on a Plane Arrives!!

I'm so excited. The world premiere of "Snakes on a Plane" is finally here!

Oh, wait.

I'm in Korea, and in some dumb exercise where I don't have any access to a movie theater.

Shit.

But that doesn' t have to mean that I can't take part in the hype over this Academy Award shoe-in. (or is it shoo-in? not sure) Take a look over at the dude from Snakes on a Blog. He's spent almost a year plugging this movie and got some pictures from the premiere in Hollywood. From the 41+ comments at the bottom of his entry, I'm guessing people enjoyed it.

Let's take a look over at Rotten Tomatoes and see what they have to say. Holy crap!! While the snooty critics only gave the film 76% (still not too shabby), the users have stepped up and given the film 96%!!! Some of the choicer comments include:

The greatest movie of all time? It's up there.

and

This movie makes Titanic look like Gigli

So it's pretty clear that the people love it. But what about you, our dear readers? Please tell me someone out there has had the pleasure of seeing this movie? If so, how was it? I'll review your reviews and post the best one.

Welcome, Visitors!

No one really goes to each other's apartment here in Seoul. In the (almost) year I've been here, I've been to four other apartments, one of which is in my building and barely counts. Am I a social pariah, or is there something bigger at work here? Hmmm....

I guess part of the reason might be that the streets don't really have names the way they do in the states- small roads have no name at all, and big ones include a number, signifying which "section" of the road a place is located. Of course, what constitutes a "section" is entirely subjective. Nor are addresses in order- they are determined by the order in which the buildings were built. So, the addresses might be 100, 540, 32, if those were the 100th, 540th, and 32nd buildings on that street. Awesome!

Business cards almost always include a map showing the location of the store. Directions always include colorful remarks like, "go over the Bampo Bridge, but take the bottom bridge. Make a left at the big twisted tree in the middle of the road. At the second Starbuck's, turn right into an alley. I'll wait for you there to get you the rest of the way." These are helicopter pilots- navigators by trade- that rely on running outside to a landmark in order to get someone into their building.

Once you do find the building, there are still more hurdles to cross. Most buildings here have security gates that require a pass to get in. Without one, you must call the guard, explain who you are and who you are visiting, and hope they raise the gate. Here are the instructions posted at the parking garage in our building:
Maybe it's not me after all...

From an Undisclosed Location

For those of you waiting for the "exciting conclusion" of my fight movie, you'll have to keep waiting. I'm currently on location at an undisclosed location somewhere on the Korean peninsula participating in a classified military exercise. How many blogs can truthfully make that statement? Probably 50? Could be a little bit more than that...

Needless to say, I don't have my camera with me or the ability to film anything even if I did have it. So you'll just have to wait. I'll put the idea together, then film and cut it when I get back.

So many crazy things have been happening down here, but I can't tell you about any of them. Truth be told, if I did lay them all out here, you'd probably ask yourself, "What's the big deal?" And you'd probably be right. But rules are rules.

I've been trying to think of some sort of promotion to cook up in order to bring some audience participation into the blog. I've got a couple of ideas, but they're too nebulous right now. While that may come as a huge disappointment to many of you, I offer this pledge: I'll give the idea some serious thought tonight and present my findings tomorrow. Just be prepared to step up with your input. Especially considering that we're reaching, and this is just a wild estimation, tens of readers out there.

Until tomorrow.

I'm ready for my close-up

If you haven't guessed it already, I've been on a film making kick lately. Here's my latest. It utilizes advanced "green screen" technology. Unfortunately, I didn't have a good plan of what was going to be my end product when I was filming it, so the story is a little lacking. And the ending is non-existent. But other than that, it's pretty sweet. Enjoy.

What it's like to have a two-year old

I have one kid. A two-year old named Aidan. And he's just one boy, but sometimes he gives me a run for my money. Like today. It's Saturday, so Jessica's at work until 4:00. That's a Saturday of Aidan and I hanging at the house, trying to keep occupied. But sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if Aidan had two twin brothers. What would that be like? Hmmmm...






Well, at least they're all sitting still.

A Tale of Two Jessicas

I've been playing around with the editing software that I have on my computer. Last week, I just finished our Cambodia video that I've been hacking together for about two weeks. It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that the program is crazy-technical and I'm just learning "the ropes".

Anyway, here's an example of the kind if things that I'm figuring out in the program. Behold! Twin Jessicas!!





Yeah, it's not that impressive now that I look at it. It was mainly just an exercise that I did to see if it was possible. Pretty realistic though. I'll start to show clips from the Thailand and China trips as I get to them. Stay tuned!

Japan Richtlinien!!

Ahhh, Japan. Joel and I are in the planning stages of our final Asian trip- Tokyo. A friend of mine recommended a site listing some flea markets in the area. A hop and a jump from there, I found the site of Graniph, a t-shirt store.
Although it is old hat to comment about "the wacky Japanese" and their use of poor English, I was NOT prepared for their love of the German language. I don't speak it, but using the power of the internet, I translated a few to mean "sleep model" and "the future is their." Like the future belongs to them, or the future is over there?? Check them out for yourself- some are oddly listed under the heading, "French Tshirt."
One of the most disturbing designs is this drawing of a young topless girl with a devil tail poking out of a hole in her panties. Even as a line drawing, she looks criminally young- it's probably a violation of Megan's law to wear it in public.
Finally, here's a shirt for those of you fascinated by elongated hexagons:

Audience Participation Required

Now that we're in rainy season, all I want to do is lay on the couch, eat soup, and watch TV. Unfortunately, we only have Korean satellite service, so my English-language options are limited (although there is an English channel that seems to play only CSI and Fear Factor). We can get DVDs and download shows, but we have to know what shows to get. On the advice of a radio show we also download, we recently discovered It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, already in its second season. It's so good that I was angry I missed it for so long.
So, I am wondering what else is on? I need something to tide me over the summer until The Office is back. Help, America!

Two Dumb Links as an Excuse for a Post

Hi. I'm lazy and pressed for time. Here's two dumb links of stuff I've been peeping lately.

First off is my latest toy, the Nike+ iPod gimmick. I've heard that my own brother has given me some guff about this, but he can go screw. This is a tiny transmitter set made in a partnership between Apple and Nike. One piece goes into a special Nike+ shoe and the other one clips into the bottom of your iPod nano. Then you start running and it records your time, distance, speed, calories burned, etc. Data is stored until you hook the iPod up to your computer, then you can download the info and send it to Nike.com. There you can track all your runs, set goals, challenge others, etc. Here's what my screen looks like when I sign in.



At first, I thought this was a neat gimmick and that's what drew me to it. But I've been using it for a couple of runs now and there's really a lot of functionality to it. Something about seeing your run analyzed like that and then trying to improve on your time and speed is a motivator. Plus, you can look at other people's run times from around the world. I say neat-o!

My second dumb link I stumbled on while writing a reply to my dear friend, Tab O'maley. It's the Bazooka Joe Shrine!! Some kid from Caltech has made an incredibly informative, if starkly designed, web page about Bazooka Joe comics. Plus, he's got scans of all the old comics to boot! With each one, he does what I can only describe as a literature review of the dialogue. How much critical analysis can one derive from a two frame comic? Turns out, quite a bit.

Cheers!

Korean-French manicure

I speak three words in Korean, and even those I pronounce poorly. So, it is no surprise that there is often a failure to communicate when I try to express myself to Koreans who also have a limited grasp of a second language.
The other day I was getting a pedicure and the girl doing it asked if I wanted pink. I said, "no, french." This was the result:

Surprisingly, this did not seem unusual to any Koreans- they often get this in blue, green, even a tiny rainbow stripe. I kept it like this for a few days, until my friend Tyler said it looked like I was bleeding out through my nails. That's hot!

Jessica's Birthday

Yesterday was Jessica's birthday. We had a couple of friends over and ate some ice cream cake. But the real fun happened when Aidan decided to put on this uncanny penguin performance using one of the birthday hats. Behold, Penguin Boy!

The Long Wall

On our recent trip to China, we visited the Great Wall. Our guide informed us that the Chinese refer to it as the "Long Wall". I guess they're both accurate.

We didn't have the best weather for the trip there. Cloudy with rain. Not the sunny clear skies that I hoped would give us the best pictures of the wall. But when you have lemons...

This pillar is a quote from Chairman Mao, "You're not a hero until you've climbed the Great Wall." I guess I can check that block.



The section of wall that we climbed spanned a strategic valley that the Chinese were trying to protect. We started our climb in the low point of the valley and climbed up from there. In retrospect, I think we climbed up the wrong side. The other route was longer, but definitely not as steep. Here's the path we took:



And it goes on up from there. Once we were at the top (or at least as far up as we were willing to go) we had the obligatory family photo done by a passing Briton. It was fortunate that he was in the area. Believe it or not, most of the Chinese and Japanese tourists that we asked to take our picture had an uncommonly hard time operating our camera. They could never get the "press halfway, then press all the way" concept right, even though every digital camera that I've ever used has that same operation. Go figure. Regardless, here we are from the top of the mountain:



Finally, I've been having a lot of fun with the "panorama" mode on the camera, and this was yet another opportunity to play around with it. It was still a little cloudy when I took this, but the sky was clearing up and I brightened it up with some help from Photoshop. Click here to bring up the whole shot in all it's glory.




While I'm here, I wanted to see if anyone knew who I gotta know to get placed on the "Blogs of Note" on the front page of Blogger. Christ, if bluepulseblog and Budak in Berlin can get there, why not me? My content's just as good as those two hacks. Tell your friends about Fillet of Seoul and get me a mention.

Animal Husbandry?

I bought a shirt while we were in Thailand in May. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a knock-off of another brand of shirt, or just something that they came up with in Thailand. It's non-descriptive green polo shirt with a small embroidered symbol on the left breast. It shows a chicken and a rabbit doing... something. Maybe I should just show you and let you make your own judgment:

A View From the Top

Before we left for our China trip, Jessica and I had been trying to take my parents on a trip up to Seoul Tower for a view of the city. We had been hit with a couple days of bad weather and the visibility from the tower would have been terrible. As luck would have it, the weather cleared up a bit the day before we left and we had one of those rare clear nights. We hurried up to the tower after I got off work and took our camera. Everything came together and I took these panorama shots of the Seoul skyline at dusk and night.

These are both pretty large pictures. If you click on them, you'll be able to open up the whole shot and get to see all the gritty details. Let me know what you think!

Back from China

Arrived back today from our latest oriental adventure in China. Jessica stayed one day later and will be back tomorrow. She kept the camera with her, so for now I'll just have to whet your palette with a list of blog teasers. Stay tuned for pictures and video describing:

• Visiting the Forbidden City
• Climbing the Great Wall
• Eating Peking Duck
• Seeing the Kung-Fu show
• Shopping at the markets
• And much, much more!!

In the meantime, let me relay to you a little "slice of life" from my ride back from the airport. I had to take the commercial bus from the airport to my house. Ticket cost me $13 instead of the usual free Army shuttle that I take, but the bus was nicer and the driver was a lot less cautious than the military driver and made the trip in about 3/4 the time.

On the flip side, the clientele wasn't the usual mix of clean-cut military types and dependents. It was a mélange of Koreans and Caucasian hippies. One in particular sat directly across from me and was happily watching a show on his Mac laptop (totally hippy). I won't go into detail about how he was constantly pulling at his unusually long and curly hair; putting it up into a pony tail, only to take it down a minute later and run his oily fingers through it. Or the smell that was coming off of him, which was something between incense and someone who just finished a particularly rigorous workout. Let's just say that he was a iconic hippy: slightly overweight, smelly, with little-to-no personal hygiene.

Anyway, he's watching this lame British sitcom that he's TiVo'd on his laptop that I'm sure he thinks is hilarious but is positive that most people don't get it because they don't have the developed sense of "humour" that he possesses. While he's watching it, he's digging through a shopping bag of things that he bought at where ever it is that he came from. He pulls out a DVD, unwraps it and opens it up to see the liner notes. He doesn't put it in the laptop. Instead, he puts it back into the bag and brings out a second DVD. He repeats the same process of opening it up, reading liner notes, putting it back into the bag. Noting too unusual about that, right?

No, nothing at all. What was unusual was what these two movies were and the fact that the same individual would buy them. The first one was an Australian movie called "Feed", about a criminal who force feeds women to death. The other was called "Ladies in Lavender", about two sisters who befriend a mysterious stranger that washes up on the beach in the 1930's Cornish seaside village. I've linked both films to their IMDB page, and I strongly encourage you to read both thoroughly to really get the feeling for just how far apart on the spectrum these two films are. One features hard core sex scenes with morbidly obese women; the other stars Dame Judi Dench. I don't think I need to illustrate their differences any more than that.

The point of the story? A hippy's taste in movies rivals that of his own revolting personal aroma. Or put another way: a smelly bohemian cinema enema.

Taste of Thai

Leaving for China today. I'm sure we'll have lots to show when we come back. In the meantime, here's a short clip from our resent Thailand trip. I'm not sure what these two queens are fighting over. Hairspray?

A Taste of Cambodia

Soooo... we went to Cambodia in April and saw the ruins at Ankgor Wat. It was an amazing thing to see and Jessica and I would like to go back someday, maybe sans baby. Anyway, we posted some pictures a while back (I think) but no video. I shot maybe two hours of video while we were there and have been very lazy about editing it down into something watchable and not two hours of shaky-cam and back commentary.

I've been working on it this week and last and uploaded a short clip from a temple that was used in one of the "Tomb Raider" movies. It's the one that has all the trees growing up and through the stones. Be forewarned: it's a short clip and the quality is low because I had to make it fit on Photobucket. That said, enjoy.

Photojournalism begins at home

I now feel for Brittany Spears and the paparazi she has to deal with. As I mentioned, we got a new camera recently, which means that Joel has taken at least 100 dumb pictures, testing out all of the options and features, and just being silly. Almost all of them were of me doing routine things, so here is a sampling:

Putting away laundry is a photo event, right??

This next one will satisfy your curiosity about what I look like when I'm drinking water:

This is my "why are you doing this to me" face, as I'm taking a shower:

Still, who can be mad at this angel?

Back from the dead?

WOW, I can't believe it's been six weeks since our last post! Our camera broke, so that put a chill on things, but still...I guess we'll have to make up for it with some really awesome new posts. Right after this one, I promise. Ha ha!
In May we went to Chongduk Palace here in Seoul, in an effort to soak up some local culture before our move to Italy in the fall. We had seen one other Korean "palace," and were not really that impressed; this one did little to change our minds. However, there was a nice pond area:


Here is another picture of the main building of the palace:

It's kind of cool with all of the painting detail and peaked roofs such, but these are replicas of the actual buildings- the Japanese burned down what remnants were left of these old wooden buildings during WWII. Also, growing up with the image of Cinderella's castle created a very high expectation in me of what constitutes a "palace." Still, we had a good time walking around and had a wonderful lunch for under $15 for all of us at a noodle/sushi place around the corner. Can't beat that!

Worst...

Meka leka hi, meka hiney ho!

At the request of Jessica, I have returned the offending format back to its former glory. Your wish is granted. Long live Jambi!

When the cat's away...

When you make the promise to spend your life with someone, and share all that you have with one another, you take it for granted that the person with whom you make this unending contract will NOT hijack your blog and change the formatting and post pictures of you that had a definate verbal contract clarifying, "Not for the blog" and so on and so forth....My advice is to get something like that in writing.

So, anyway, we have been so busy, with our trip to Cambodia and me back in school. It was really unbelievable to see ruins that are so old, and on top of that, be able to climb all over them. Here is a picture of us at The Bayon, one of the temples:


We had such an awesome time, the whole trip lived up to all of our expectations. Speaking of awesomeness, it's official: we're moving to Italy in the fall!! Yay! Start making plans now to spend the holiest of Christmases with us and the Pope. We'll be there for three years, so no excuses.

The air here has been horrific; If you're not familiar with the Chinese Yellow Dust Menace, check this out. I will never complain about how bad the pollen is in the states ever again. On the plus side, it has been much warmer (although toxic) outside, inspiring us to plan more sightseeing trips and outdoor activities that should make good fodder for the blog. Keep in touch for a more regularly updated and action-packed blog in the near future.

Finally, if you've read our blog and thought, "if only there was a blog about what it's like to be a depressed teenage girl who does not have a strong grasp of the English language," and who hasn't, check this out.

Coolest Mask Ever... and Jessi-cat

Like I wrote in the last post, this weekend is Buddha's birthday. We were out yesterday near Insadong to checkout the festivities. There was a big parade with floats and lots of dudes banging drums and bells. I guess Buddha is into that scene. While I we were there, I picked up what is arguably the coolest mask I've ever seen. The Koreans have all kinds of masks that they use for traditional ceremonies and dances etc. Check these out:

My brother and I have been picking up strange masks ever since he found his illustrious "devil" mask in Mexico several years back. So we've both amassed a little collection since then, but the one that I scored yesterday blows them all away. Check out this monster:

Wow! Can you believe that!? I don't know if you can make out all the details on it, but there's a big dragon on the face, two over the eyes, and two other faces on top of the head over each eye. It was a little pricey, but where else are you going to find something like this?

On an unrelated note, Jessica was transformed today into "Jessicat". Luckily, I happened to have a video camera nearby to witness this startling metamorphosis. Behold:

Happy Birthday Buddha!

It's Buddha's Birthday this weekend. The old guy is celebrating his 2550th birthday this year. You know, I didn't think he was a day over 1999. (rimshot)

Here's a short video from a parade that took place yesterday in Seoul. I'm not sure who the green guy is or what he's supposed to be dancing about, but it made an interesting video. Enjoy.

Sorry Mario, but your Princess is in Another Castle...

I saw this story on digg this morning; don't know why, but it really caught my attention. Maybe it's because I'm secretly still a huge dork. It appears that some gallery in California is hosting a show where all the works are inspired by 80's era video games. Check out their preview gallery here. Really brings back some memories. I can't help laughing at the one called No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford. The way that he's dangling that remote, looking so dejected, is perfect.

Happy Birthday to Justin

We here at FilletofSeoul would like to wish Lil' Justin Springer a Happy Birthday. If you have a minute, send him an email and wish him one too. I'm sure he'd love to hear from you.

In other news, many of you have noticed that there's a big blank space below that says "Map Test" with nothing there. Don't worry, you're not missing out on anything. I'm just trying something out and it's not cooperating. But when it does, oh boy, you're going to crap your pants.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Everyone! Hope everyone is enjoying the arrival of spring and Easter. Aidan had a couple of pictures with the Easter Bunny. He was extremely excited about the guy in the bunny suit and another guy who was in a dog suit. I've never heard of the Easter bunny's helper, the dog, but I'm willing to expand my horizons.

Jeffrey Goines is Alive and Well

For those of you who aren't familiar with Jeffrey Goines, he's the crazy guy from "12 Monkeys" that wants animals to take over the world. I came across an article today that reviews a speech made by a "ecologist" at the Texas Academy of Science. The review is located here, and I recommend you take a second and give it a read. Don't worry, I'll wait.


All done? Good.

Does anyone else get a little worried when they read this article? Not only the idea that eboloa is evolving into an airborne variant that could wipe out 90% of the population, but that this crazy bastard is welcoming the apocalypse with open arms. How many more people share these kinds of ideas? And how many dedicated individuals would it take to bring something like this to fruition?

Hey, forget about the Islamic fundamentalists for a minute and take a look into this crazy S.O.B.'s activities. I hope that someone is keeping a close eye on Eric R. Pianka and what he's up to. And in the spirit of freedom of information, here's his email: pianka@mail.utexas.edu . Why not tell him what you think of his global extermination plan. Do it now, before he goes underground!


"Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

It's the Wiggle Waggle!

Hey Kids! Check out the latest dance craze that's sweeping the nation: the Wiggle Waggle!



Move over "the Twist" and "the Mashed Potato", there's a new kid in town and she's got all the hot moves. Let's hear it for the Wiggle Waggle!!

Shenanigans at RSOI

Well, it's happened again. No posts for almost a week, then Jessica and I hit you with back to back posts. Whammy! That's why this blog brings "the ruckus".

I'm still at an undisclosed location on the Korean peninsula, involved in a massive Army staff exercise. We're supposed to wrap up at the end of this week, but let's all hope for an early end to this misery. There's not a lot of things to get excited about during a staff exercise. There's very little "real world" pieces moving around out there; the vast majority of activity takes place in a giant computer simulation where "puckers" move little computerized tanks and troops around on a artificial battlefield. They're called "puckers" because they don't use a mouse, they use a "puck" which is like the controller that drafters use in CAD. Why it's called a puck, I don't know.

Anyway, the majority of my time here has been spent receiving requests to send fake helicopters to imaginary troops and deliver imaginary supplies. The real kick in the teeth is when you start to feel a sense of accomplishment because you got your fake request in the fastest and "made the mission happen". There is no mission. The order gets signed and a "pucker" moves a computer icon from one place to another. Hooray!

The nuttiest thing I saw during these two weeks of aggravation had to be the "Classified Three-hole Punch". There's an office across from ours in the compound that has three hole-punches sitting on a table next to each other. They're identical except that they're each painted a different color: industrial grey, bright blue, and deep red. It took me a second to realize what I was looking at. These were for punching holes in documents of different levels of classification. The grey was for unclassified, blue for classified, and red for secret. I guess that they didn't want the tiny little secret paper dots getting mixed up with the tiny little unclassified paper dots and making their way into the trash where a dastardly North Korean could find them and piece together something from that one letter "R" that he found. Of course it begs the question, how would he be able to discern the secret paper dots from the unclassified paper dots? I guess those guys are just that good.

The International Language of the Finger

I got the finger from an old Korean lady today. This is really shocking, for many reasons. First, I can't remember ever getting it "for serious" in the states, Home of the Finger. But here I am, 10,000 miles away, getting it from some dried up old hag who can't drive. Oh, yeah- I guess that's a BIG surprise- it was a driving-related incident. I won't go into the details, other than to say she pulled in front of me in an intersection, creating a gridlock situation for all four directions. I thre my hands up in an irritated gesture (but not the finger), which was so offensive to her that she stayed put even as other traffic moved, just to be in my way, and when I honked at her, she gave me the bird.
The second issue is that a Korean gave me the bird over a driving issue. I won't bore you with the standard "Koreans drive like maniacs!" line, but this is a place where motorcycles drive on the sidewalks and old people pull carts like horses in the street, right in the middle of the lane like they are a car. Here is a picture of a guy with a cart I stole from another website that looks to be a photojournal of Korea. Just picture this guy in a lane on a highway:

Also, how does she even know about the finger? I did't think it was a universal signal, but I guess it's just one more American culture export we are so kind to share with the world. Go USA!!

Know when to walk away/Know when to run

Day Four of the exercise has come and gone, and the sun now sets on the Korean peninsula. Wonderful. Another day closer to ending this Exercise in Futility. Get it?!? I'm in an exercise, and it's and exercise in futility! Huh? Nothing?

Anyway, the majority of my time down here has been spent working out and playing cards. Your tax dollars at work! The guys that have been working down here have been the IT guys. They've been scrambling to fix everyone's internet, phone, VTC etc. And it's been a challenge. Two solid days of working on getting everyone straight, and it's still not quite right. But pretty standard for the Army. If they get it at a 70% fix, we'll work around that.

Before I sign off, I'd like to share a little nugget of fun with you. I'm currently on a shared computer in a Cyber Cafe on the installation. When I logged on to check my hotmail, the name of the previous user was still in the log in screen. It was lonewolfhunter@hotmail.com . Lonewolfhunter?? Are you kidding me? Who could take themselves seriously and enter that as email? I guess lonehunter and wolfhunter were both taken. Why not drop 'ol lonewolfhunter a message when you get a chance? I'm sure he'd love to hear from you. 'Snarf!

It stinks, and I don't like it.

Another exciting entry today. It's been over a week since the last post, but I don't want everyone to think that we've forgotten about you. Today I'm posting from an undisclosed location on the Korean peninsula where I'm currently involved in a training exercise that rivals all others in the amount of downtime that I have.

Yes, I'm talking about RSOI. For those uninitiated into the ways that the Army works on the Korean peninsula, I'll give you a quick rundown. If the North Koreans choose to attack S. Korea and the "balloon goes up", the U.S. Army will quickly mobilize a bunch of forces onto the peninsula in support of the operation. Part of my job will be overseeing their Reception, Staging, Onward Movement, and Integration. Hence, RSOI. Basically getting them off the plane/ship and into the fight in the least dicked up way possible. That, at least, is the goal.

So every year, the U.S. forces on peninsula come together and practice what it would be like for all these forces to arrive and how we would best deal with them and move them out to where they need to be. However, we do all this with no actual forces involved. Thousands of grown adults pretending imaginary forces are coming on ships and planes into theater, then unloading their imaginary baggage, then pretending to move across country to an imaginary battle that is not taking place. It's like the worlds most involved Dungeons & Dragons game with tanks instead of swords and wizards. I call it dorked up.

My biggest problem right now is convincing myself to "get into the role" of the exercise. I can't seem to get past the fact that it's so artificial and that no actual soldiers are moving around or helicopters inserting troops anywhere. It's fake. There's people that are thinking up "problems" that will happen during our time here so we can "solve" them and feel good about "overcoming an adversity". Am I using too many "quotes"? "Sorry".

Anyway, I would like to send you some pictures of the EOC (Emergency Operations Center) floor, because that is pretty cool. There's a giant 50'x20' video display that streches across the front of the floor. It's surrounded on both sides by four 50" flatscreen displays. Then on the floor are rows of desks with mics on them and a camera that automatically zooms onto your face when you speak into the mic. It's the kind of stuff that you see in the movies when they show the secret military underground command post. The only difference is that this place has a lot better lighting than in the movies. Also, no smoking. But other than that, pretty close.

I'll write again should any shenanigans take place here in the next week or so. But don't hold your breath.

Inside Karl's Head

This isn't really a Joel and Jessica post. It's actually an ol' blogging trick that I have gleaned recently. Here's the tip: see what's "hot" in news/entertainment, mention it a couple of times in your blog, and hope that the Google search picks it up and sends some readers your way.

So, Jessica and I have been enamored with the Ricky Gervais podcast over the last couple of weeks. He has a free 30-minute podcast over on iTunes that you can download for free. There's about 6 episodes that are up there right now. They are really really funny and I suggest that you check them out if you haven't already. By the way, assist to Justin for turning me on to them.

Most of the show is focused around Gervais and his buddy Steven Merchant "probing" into the mind of their producer Karl Pilkington. Karl Pilkington may be one of the most unusual characters in radio. He's a little bit of an idiot savant of comedy. I don't think anything he does/says is intentional, but it's really funny stuff. Here's a picture of Karl, by the way.

However, there is a little bit of a stir in the world of Gervais and Pilkington. As I said before, the podcast up to this point has been a free download on iTunes. But the honeymoon has ended, and now Gervais is charging $1.99 for each new episode. But this is apparently not kosher with the throngs of people that made Gervais' podcast the "most downloaded podcast" in the world. Many people have rejected the notion of dropping two bucks for a half-hour, non-video podcast. I half to kind agree with them. The shows were funny, but $2 funny? I think I'll wait for the bitTorrent to come out.

Hawaii: Not Just for Elvis Anymore

I'm a little stressed this week, as I'm still trying to recover from our vacation to Hawaii, so don't look for any cleaver comments in this post, just vacation photos. And poor sentence structure.

One of the first things we did was go on a hike through what I guess I can call a tropical rain forest to a waterfall. At the top of the mountain, we stopped to take a couple of pictures:

Between the five adults, we brought two video cameras and two still cameras, one of which was also capable of taking video, and three cell phones. Ah, to be away from it all!!

Surprisingly, we had the beach to ourselves, for the most part. Here is Aidan enjoying the lonely water at Waikiki Beach:

We didn't breathe in Hawaii unless Frommer's recommended it, thanks to Justin's careful research, although I found several of the activities "so last year":

In case you didn't get that joke, it's a 2005 copy of Frommer's Hawaii. Ha ha, I'm hilarious.

After Justin left, we really had fun! Friday, we climbed Diamondhead-here I am at the top, with the crater behind me.

Of course, it's a different experience hiking with a 30-lb weight on your back:

After a week, we felt like natives. Here I am trying to blend in:

Joel took it a step further:

It was especially nice for us to be able to go with babysitters- I mean, family. Here we are at the hotel:

All in all, it was an awesome trip. I just encourage everyone to go now, while it's still "indie," before everyone finds out about this new 50th state. Hope you all enjoy the pictures and aren't too jealous. By the way, Tab, how about some of the Caymans??

Aidan Kaufman

I know, two posts in one day. It's like it's your birthday or something. This will probably blow my load for the week, so enjoy.

In the past, it's been pointed out that my younger brother Justin bears a resemblance to the late comedian Andy Kaufman. Personally, I didn't see it. But that's me.

Well, the mantle has apparently been passed to the next generation. My own son, Aidan, has recently appeared in some photographs looking suspiciously like Mr. Kaufman. Let's see that side-by-side comparison. First, Andy then Aidan.

Well, the jury is out. There is a contingent on the Interweb that insist that Andy Kaufman lives. They are generally creepy and too cryptic for this guy. Perhaps Aidan is the reincarnation of Andy? If you have a minute, drop a comment on whether you think Aidan looks like Andy. We'll tally the votes and post the winning opinion. Happy posting!

Not-So-Super Friends

While we were in Hawaii last week, Jessica went to a swap meet/flea market and bought Aidan a set of toys. It was a set of six for $8; pretty good deal, I thought. Granted, they were not "officially licensed" toys. Just a bunch of made in China knockoffs. But at $8, can't really expect too much.

Anyway, we got them back to the hotel room and showed them to Aidan, who promptly went ape-shit over them. He's been in a little bit of a Batman phase. Every superhero that he sees he calls "Batman". But he gets exceptionally excited over actual Batman stuff.

So he tears into the toys and starts playing around with them. Nothing too extreme, just the kind of treatment that you'd expect a two year old to deal to toys. Within minutes, Batman lost his first arm. We were a little surprised that he didn't last a little longer. But before we could dwell too much on it, Spiderman lost a leg. And it just continued from there.

The toys stayed with us for the rest of the trip and on the plane ride back to Korea, but they were not without casualties. Here's a line up of the previously Dynamic Sextet:



As you can see, only the Thing and Mr. Incredible have survived with all limbs intact. I credit their superhuman strength and non-articulated knees and elbows. But the real tragedy is Superman. Have a closer look:



Both arms, one leg and a head. He got hit harder than Christopher Reeve. Boo-ya!